Where ever you will go, I'll be there
by Right.over.here
Summary: AU, What if it wasn't Luke and Leia who lived at the end of ROTS... What would happen 2 Padmé if she lost 2 of the reasons 2 live? R&R I won't cry so plz tell me what you think...
1. Prologue

Padmé slowly woke up. Breathing in the hot air around her, hard to breathe really. Her throat was dry, not functional. Her eyes flicked up. Lava was everywhere, red tones of everything. Sounds of fire were in her ears. The only place she could think of was hell. She was in hell. Nothing else made sense; it sure wasn't heaven for anyone.

Was she dead? Did she die? No, she felt her entire body, pulse that was racing. Tears threaten to show themselves, Anakin, her beloved Anakin, he couldn't, no there was no way.

He loved her; he could not kill her or harm her. He loved her. She was his life. He told her so. Any one. Just not him. Not Anakin. He loved her more then life itself. A scream went out through the air, a scream of fear, nothing else but pure fear. It was her own voice; air from her very own lungs that made it's way out to the red yellow sky. Jet another scream came from the bottom of her very soul. She screamed it all out, all her pain, loss and pain. She gave it all into that single scream. And everything seemed to go quiet, just the fire reached her. The burning fires from hell.

One look around her, she saw the ship was still there. Artoo was there, just by his side stood C-3PO. Even though they where machines she could feel their worries. They had no eyes to reflect their emotions, but it almost filed the air. Made it more painful then see two living pair of eyes. Where was Anakin? Ani? Where was her love? She could not see him, hear or sense him anywhere. Nothing. Tears came down, rolling over her cheeks. Her hands came up to hide her face. Her right hand! Oh my god, her hands, they where red. Starting to tremble, shaking. Terrified, she didn't want to know. No, no, no it wasn't true. Started to crawl away from the spot, crying hysterical. She had blood on her hands.

Fighting back her thoughts, the thing she was terrified to even think about. No, it could not be true. These things did not happen to her. Feeling something against her back, she curled up like a baby. A baby? Oh, my dear good her baby. She started to cry even harder. The blood wasn't hers, it wasn't Palpatine's either. It came from inside, her baby. The tears didn't stop to fall, they just came faster. Burning harder then the fire around the platform. Did she just lose her only child? No, it could not be true. Why hers? Her child. The truth was too hard to handle for a person. Not even the practice she had from being a senator, she could hold her tears in. The feeling of being totally alone came over her, every one was gone.

He was not there, her family was not even on the same planet, and her child was long gone. She was alone. For the first time in her life she was the only thing she had. Everyone she ever cared about was gone, corrupt or dead. Nothing, no one, left for her. Just one single word came out, not in a whisper. It came out as a long heartbreaking scream - Anakin! The only person she ever loved, he had been her life, her air. Small as a kitten she curled up against the wall, the blood was not just on her hands. It was everywhere.

Open her eyes one more time and she looked in to the pair of eyes belonging to her devil. Screaming as she tried to get through the wall, anything just to escape those eyes of his. Blue eyes, not even sure if they where anymore. They had a dark shadow over them now. Something she'd never seen before. They could not be the same ones she'd loved for all those years. Same loving eyes of his, this pair scared the life out of her.

Couldn't stop screaming as she realised it was him. It was his fault. All she kept repeating was "You!" "You!" nothing else came out.

Shaking her head, trying to understand why. How? His hands reached for her face trying to calm her down. How could she be calm now. First he disbelieved her, then tried to kill her. As a final he took away her child. How did he dared he try to touch her. "Padmé, love, what's the matter?" Her eye's went from brown calm, to a sea of fire. He was no more aloud to call her that. No more, her feelings were in chaos. But one thing she knew was that he was the one. The only one she could blame.

"You killed our child, Ani." She said in a very dry voice. Not trying to make eye contact with him. Her words stroke down in his heart. Her voice, her look at him. Everything, it took him down. Using his name took it all away. He was empty, no emotions. His child, their son or daughter, he would never know. The child was gone? No, he wasn't a killer like that. He would never kill his own child. No it could not be true. Trying to pull her in to a hug, feel her, comfort her. But she just pulled away. Scared, scared of him. His Padmé was afraid of him. All the things out there, and she was the one who was afraid of him. Of him. The scene in front of him took him hard.

His beloved Padmé in blood, looking at him as if he was the dark Sith lord himself. Her tears, flashing memories of his mother came, how she died in his arms. Not her to, she was his. She could not hate him so. Still her words kept ringing in his ears. He, he killed his only child. All his plans, everything he had done for his unborn child. Everything for nothing. The child he would be a father to. The emotions went from none to a chaos of emotions jumping over another. This could not be happening. He would never hurt Padmé so, not hurt his own child so. This couldn't be his fault, he would never hurt his love so. Defiantly not kill their child. No, it wasn't him.

"Leave me alone, Ani." Her voice wasn't more then a quiet whisper. But he could hear her hurt feelings and sorrow in it. She didn't even look up at him as she said it. Her head was down behind her hair. He couldn't see her tears that still came down. It was more painful then a lightsaber thru his limbs and bones. Much more painful, she wanted him to leave her. He couldn't live without her. She was his life, his air, and the reason for him to live.

As she rose to her feet, he saw the blood. His Padmé was just one bloody mess. Her clothes were dripping of blood. He was still on his knees. She didn't walk away immediately, stood and looked down on him. He dared not to look her in the eye, afraid of what he would find there. She just said in a low harsh voice, he never wished to hear again.

"I don't want anything to do with you, Ani. You killed my only child." He could hear her tears as she told him these words. "I will never see you again, Anakin, Your not my husband from this moment on. My Ani, would have trusted me to never lie to you, he would never had hurt me. Your not my Ani!" Her words killed him slowly.

Obi-Wan's eyes was watching the former lovers from a distance, but he could feel the look upon him. The sorrow, the guilt he felt. It wasn't just Padmé who was disappointed, it was his brother, mentor and friend to. He had dishonoured them both. And he knew he could never make it right again.


	2. Few years later

It took time, but several years later. People actually moved on. Hard to believe, but even hard times can be conquered. It takes time, lots of it, meditation. Several hours in bed crying. But you find a way to move on. Just don't let it eat you

- My grand mother

* * *

**This is Padmé**

She was strong, not a moment went by without the feeling of loss. She could not look at a family without feeling empty. Regret that she left Coruscant that day. Oh, how she wished she never had look out the window and felt alone, wanting to be by Anakin's side. Why oh why did she leave? She could have had her very own family now, the three of them together. Now, instead of the mother and wife, she was the one and only fearless Republic fighter 'Freedom'. She didn't listen to the name Padmé anymore. Only her family or close friends was aloud to call her that. That would only make the small group to seven people. The rest of the universe would walk headless if they called her that name.

Padmé in their eyes died the same day her child died and Anakin disappeared from everyone radar. That Padmé had no reason to keep on living anymore. The brown eyes that watched the world today was as hard as stone, cold as the snow flying around in the air. The once beautiful brown hair was now black, black as the night itself. Drawn back in to a braid flying in the wind. All her dresses was switched into uniforms in blue, yellow and white. Blue as the colour of Ani's eyes, yellow for every warm sun there was out there in the universe who didn't care about the war or politics. And white for the pure white clear freedom. The colours that stood for what she alone was fighting for.

Right now she stood in the white cold landscape on the planet of Le'Kaal. The wrong time for a vacation trip to the planet. But the right time to fight a war. It wouldn't be a war that was about the amount of weapons you had, but a war of mastermind. The one who could take the cold and still fight to his or hers last breathe. It wasn't about bullets or laser, it was about the human or alien mind. The other side was on a march, she shocked her head. It was just stupid. Le'Kaal's forces were hiding in the shadow of the mountain, the snow giving them even more cover as their uniform (just as hers) was white.

She didn't care if the troupes saw her standing there. She didn't give away the others from her position two km away from them. Looking over the field. It had been going on for over a year this little war on Le'Kaal, now the king of Le'Kaal had made a call. Asking her to help them to end it. She wasn't a diplomat anymore, she did what she was fighting against all those years. She didn't believe in the power of words like she did then, her body alone could do a lot more damage then her mouth. She believed in the strange of her muscles that she earned from all the exercise she had done. She wasn't a Jedi in no way, but they had their similarities. When the were a thousand when they lined up one front, she was alone. They never fought together, trained or anything. They didn't have to, they knew about each other.

She blessed everyday that she had kept Anakin from turning over to the dark side, it was actually better to have him gone. Then have him as an enemy. When she had listen to Obi-Wan, she didn't want to believe how close he was to the enemy. How dark his mind had been. And that had cost her, her love, her child and her dreams.

Question was, was it worth it? The comlink made a little quiet noise in her ear, trying to contact her.

- Freedom here.

- Captain Starcross, here! Ready to join in?

Padmé rolled her eyes and gave a quick answer and took the few steps over to the ship. She had no intentions to fight on the ground, she would lead the flying division. Trying to see how the enemies was formed into different troops and divisions with different mission she flew around a bit over the clouds using the radar to see them. Before landing on the safe distance behind the front line. The flying division was smaller then she had imagined. Climbing out of the ship she looked around on the base they had. The pilots starting to walk towards her in there blue uniforms. So this is their force, no wonder they had tried so hard to get her.

"Captain Starcross!" A man came in front of her with a hand reached out for her. She took it and looked around.

"This is it?" She asked with a voice that kept no emotions in it. The man scratched his head as he looked around.

"Well, we have been fighting for over a year here. No one is willing to join the force anymore." Padmé just nodded. Looking around at 'her' men one more time, before she started to walk towards them. The captain explained their situation they had, as she didn't already know. But it was good to hear it one more time, kept her head going.

She had a small plan in her head. Their opponent had a normal pattern of their troops and it should not be too hard to hit the base from up there. The flying division was easier to lead then the troops on the ground, since they were spread in such a wide radian. Taking the hand of the former flying division leader, she didn't need an introduction. They knew who she was, they who didn't know. They weren't worth trying to explain it to.

A quick explanation of her idea and the word was free to add some new ideas. Her normal way to go thru her work. Just a few more new ideas from some of the fighters and they made the real plan up. Two attack forces, two waves of attacks. Strike the centre of their base, take out the front line from behind. Work fast. The map she had done with the help of Artoo, came up from the halo on her arm. Showing them how the force on the other side was spread in a very easy pattern. The most normal pattern there was in their training. Saying they would have the centre and every second troop at the front making them cluster. Making it easier for the troops on the ground to fight them.

"Split up into two divisions, I lead the white. You" she pointed at the former leader.

"Lead the blue one. Attack orders as given" The fighters were ready, they all nodded and made salutes as a queue to leave the meeting.

"You, I need to talk to you" She made a nod to the blue leader. The others took of for their ships.

"How does it look like?" A simple question, she was after all new here at the moment. And she had no intentions to be here for long. If it all went by her plans, she would be leaving this planet the next week.

"Well, we have been successful in the air." He started, somehow she didn't believe that they had been 'that' successful. "It's the troops on the ground who have lost the most in this battle. We're mostly intact with even four recruits" Now that she believed.

"So, these other guys." She made a nod at the opponent they had on the other side of the front. "How are they in the air?" He gave her a nod to fallow him towards his own ship. Pushed a small bottom to wake his robot the map was shown in front of her in a light orange colour.

"Like this!" She looked at it, three divisions from the start. They had one reserve, against their two back here. Padmés quick look of it, they had a chance here.

"You strike their reserve force on their base. We will cover your first wave." She stated. "Take them first, you don't care about the line the first time" She continued. "We will do that together on our way back here. When your group have done your wave you part into two groups and take out as many as possible in the air. Wait for us. On signal we go back in a zick zack line." Looking at him as he nodded, his way to agree to this plan of hers.

" Okay, when do you want us up?" The final question. She looked up to the sky, they could use the clouds to hide above to make it a surprise attack.

"In ten minutes, take yours up to the right after the mountains. Take cover over the clouds. My team goes to the left. Dive instead of go up and dive." She showed with her hand how she wanted it.

Finally it was fight time. The only thing she lived for in this life now. The adrenalin came through her body as she walked her was too her ship.

**This would be Obi-Wan at the same moment in life**

He hadn't just lost a Padwan. He had lost a friend, someone he almost consider more then a small brother. All because he could not protect him from the Chancellor, and because of that one of his other dear friends was gone as well, Master Windu. A man great in every aspect, they had almost grown up together. Now, there was so many of the great Jedi's who were gone. He took the blame for it. If he only had seen the signs, they were so clear to him now when he looked back.

And how many times had he not meditated, trying to find the answers to it all. It had taken them over a year to restore the temple to its former shape. And still they hadn't captured Master Windu's killer, Palpatine. The dark lord himself.

As he sat in the chair in the empty apartment on Coruscant, the feeling of being alone came over him. Not just because that he was alone in the apartment, but he didn't have Anakin nor was Padmé around to talk to either. Two of his oh so dear friend had disappeared that day on Mustafar.

He cursed the day, every time he thought back on that day. He lost too much that day. The order that all the Jedi's would be executed, so many died. So many suffered that day. Not just him, so many people around the galaxy. But he only knew how it been for him.

As he remembered it he had seen Anakin almost killing Padmé, the two friends started a battle. The worst and the hardest battle he ever done. He almost was on his way to kill his own brother, almost killing his own son. That was the close relationship they had had. Then they both heard a scream, a scream the repeated itself. Anakin panicked and throw him back against a wall and ran away. It took Obi-Wan a moment to even react to what had happened. To realise it had been Padmés scream they had heard in the distance. Running after his old Padwan, he saw the final scene of the former lovers last act.

He didn't hear the words Padmé had said, but he could feel his old friend change. The entire air had change. And then she had walked away from Anakin, not even looked back one single time. Her eyes had been crying, her clothes were bloody. Her only sentences to him that day were.

"Obi, take me home!" The only thing she said for a whole week. She had passed him there he stood on the platform. He gave Skywalker one last look. The last time he had seen his friend. Turned around and walked towards the ship where he took Padmé, C-3PO and Artoo back to Bail Organa's ship that was waiting for them.

It was one of the few days he actually remembered every thing about. Unfortunately for him, he also remembered his feelings that day. The roller coaster it had been that day. He shocked his head and raised to his feet, walking to the window. Looking out over the living city. It was like it never happened. The fire in the temple, it was still there. Standing there just outside his window. If it weren't for the glace, he could almost touch it.

The grey planet had been his home for over twenty years today. He didn't remember his real home planet. He wished it would look like Padmés home world. Naboo was what he called paradise and Padmé had been the perfect senator for the world there. And if it hadn't been for that day on Mustafar, she would have been a wonderful mother. He remembered how he found her looking into a fire, she had been burning her clothes from the day. It had been a week after, the first time after the accident she talked to anyone. The only time she ever spoke about her child, Anakin or Mustafar. After that she went quiet the last time that night. She didn't mention it to anyone. But he could always tell that she always had it in mind. None of them could forget about the day. It was too much that moment had changed there, all of there, lives. They didn't realise it before they came back and went out on the streets the week after. When they were painted the walls where the face of Palpatine had been. Took all his propaganda away from the streets and the world as they knew it.

It was celebration for the democracy the moth after that, but it was celebrated without one of it's most familiarly faces, Padmé never showed her face inside the big hall of the Senate. She stopped believe in it. She became Freedom, a fighter that took the law into her own hands. To be frank, Obi-Wan had been frighten when he saw her the next time. Not just the fact that her body was transformed, but her whole soul was change. Anakin had no idea of what he had done to that women.

It was how he met Sola, so maybe he had to thank him to. It was a strange feeling, he had no idea how to see it. He lost his brother and two friends, but he found love in Sola. Who at the moment was back on Naboo fighting for her sisters right to come back to her own home planet. It was funny how alike the sisters were. Just the noses where different really.

With a sigh he turned his back to the view and looked at the wall, they actually had a picture of Anakin on the wall. Sola had been against it, but they always put it away when Padmé came to visit. He just couldn't have a family wall, with out his friend/brother/son/companion. Looking over all the faces that was there looking back at him. He didn't feel that alone. Just the feeling of loss of two friends.

One more sigh and he took his robe over his clothes and started to walk out of the apartment. He had a class of new Jedi's in just an hour. A new generation of Jedi's on their way up throw childhood. He still thought them to be to young to handle a saber but, their minds were still in progress. That was what he was teaching them in the temple.

What every Jedi had to master, it's own mind.

That had been a hard lesson for everybody.


	3. Small victory

Le'Kaal a later

Padmé looked out the window, it was one of the most beautiful cities she'd been to. Especially in the winter, it looked so peaceful and so pure. No signs of battles here. It was such a contrast against the other side of the wall that kept the city from the battle field. On the white surface blood was almost covering the ground, no bodies could be seen but she knew they where there, cold and lifeless. She herself only had a few scratches that was taken cared of in a matter of a minute or two. She sighed as she looked back at the table where the politicians still where fighting over her check.

A couple of years ago, she would have been one of them. A politician a fighter, one of the most famous politicians there was. Now to famous to even get back to her own home planet. The king of Le'Kaal gave her a look, a short smile, then he looked back at his fellow men and he heard he was defending her voice. Before that day, they had only meet two maybe three times. She liked the man, he was a fair ruler who had control over a world like the one he had. She knew how hard it was, for good sake be done already. She couldn't take it for much longer. Taking the five steps she needed to reach the table she stopped and looked around. It all went quiet.

"If you believe your world you right now live in, is worth that little." She raised her voice for the first time in over an hour. "Then I can just go out there and call it all back, this is the numbers I want"

She put the paper down again. It was a huge number in itself, but for a world to have peace. If she had been queen all over again, she hadn't been fighting over it. Le'Kaal's king raised to his feet, making the other men raise as well, some costume.

"This is a amount of money we can afford" He declared, the one she thought to be the minister for their economics tried to argue, but the king just waved his hand. "Yes, single. The number is huge. But this lady here..." Oh, he called her a lady. That was a long time anyone called her that. "...has rescued us from the war. As we have been fighting for over a year. And maybe we would have still been fighting, and continue the fight for many years. It's small amount of money for the peace she have been giving us." Just her thoughts, precisely. She actually had a smile on her cold face as she turned it to the king.

"We will take your offer." He said finally.

Inside she almost did flippover. But on the out side she just did a polite nod and after that she left the room.

Just outside the door, she stopped and smiled looking down on her check. Home to Coruscant and a holiday, free time. She could live a little. Walking down the hall towards the landing place. Her fighter was ready and so was Artoo, ready to go home. Home, not really. She wasn't even welcome there anymore. And she had done nothing wrong, except disappear from one ceremony after the great victory. And that was it, no more Naboo.

She so did not like this new queen of theirs. Did she even have to deal with the feeling of loss. She had no idea of what Padmé had to go thru. Every day she blessed her sister who tried to make it all right again. She was one of the few who knew the truth. The one who alone stood up for her at her home planet. But it didn't help her much, for some reason the queen didn't want her back.

She didn't get why.


	4. Naboo Trial

**At the palace at Naboo, Sola**

Her hails echoed throw the hall as she walked the familiarly hallway. But walking it alone made it so, well empty. Taking the last breathe before diving it to the lions cave. The doors flew open as she waited for them to do.

Last sigh and she went in side. She had no expectations, but she always prayed that the queen would change her mind about her sister. It had going on for a week now, the debate was now for the first time open for outsiders. Which meant the public, people of Naboo. She would stick to what she always had said, her sister was the heart of Naboo. A reason for many freedom fighters to keep on fighting. She had every right in the whole universe to come home.

Her seat was not taken, it was to the right. The public, people, was to her left from where she was sitting. Looking over the mass of people that was there got her wondering, who of all these people would change the mind of the queen. It was all she had left to believe in now. That someone from the out side could come in and take her with storm. The calm voice of Jafan Tasia, one of both hers and her sisters oldest friends.

"Don't worry! She will turn around any moment now." He said trying to sound optimistic as he took his seat. The same time as the guard announced the queen came in front of them. Raise and sit down again. She rolled her eyes 'here we go again' was the thought as they announced the their scheme for the day. She could just sigh, this thing about democracy she really hated. Their traditions and ceremony, and if it was because of that her sister wasn't aloud to come back to Naboo. She had no idea of what they had been fighting for.

Out in the corner of her eye, she could see her parents watch the whole thing. They would probably have something to say for their daughter who wasn't even aloud to be present at this so called trial. She rolled her eyes at the word, this was not a trial, and the queen had already made her mind up. And who could change the mind of a queen, her sister was a former ruler of Naboo. And try to change her mind if you dared. And so let the trial begin. First the routine with the rehearsal about what had been heard and done before it went public. Her side was told, and then the queens side. The public went almost wild when they heard her arguments all over again. They had loved Padmé, she was after all re-elected as their queen. Of course they loved her. The queens argument about, the dissevering from one ceremony was not taken with the same affect. Little bit more confidence there.

Breathing in and looking over the crowd of people who was supporting Padmé had a calming affect on her. If only Obi-Wan had been there to support her. He would know what to say, what to do. Just keep on breathing, this is for your little sister. Keep her in mind and it all be good now. Five minutes, went by. This speaker who stood in front of them would not help her sister. But the guy could talk. But to day was not the thing to get credit for. She could not do anything about it, he had his time fifth teen minutes for each speaker. As he got his applauds from the public, she started to breathe again.

Hoping the next one would be better. The pause for drinks, of course. Jafan was not showing any emotions at all, just sitting there with a stone face. As always just searching for anything useful, as the lawyer he was.

"What do you think?" she had to ask him.

"I believe" He said instead, making her roll her eyes " I believe your sister will call this home pretty soon" He gave her a small hope. Her smile wasn't really for five crowns even. But it was all she could give him, and he knew how she felt. Inside, behind the mask, he felt the same. He just was good enough not to show it. So speaker number two. A tall man, in dark robes walked up to the centre. He was sure mysterious enough to scare anyone. When he took off his hood it was a young scared face. He took the stand with a great confidence. Should she know him or was he someone she should be afraid of? She had no idea what to believe.

" Have you any relationship with the prosecute? " The first question from the queens right hand man, Sir Lane Glories. It wouldn't be the last one.

" I have no relationship to the former queen Padmé Naberrie. " She was taken by hearing her sisters real name. It had been the prosecute or the senator for every other speaker. This one was special.

" What reasons do you have to defend her? " Was Glories next question.

" I am one of her many protectors, and I meet her a couple of times at Coruscant. " The voice of the young man said. Strange, he hadn't told them his name. She found it more then strange. It was odd.

" A question my queen. " She rose to her feet, was given a nod - she could ask her question. " I'm sorry. But I didn't get the speakers name? " She turned her eyes to the man in every ones attention. He didn't even blink, not swished a muscle. Was he a solider?

" Shmi Tatooine. " The voice said. For some reason she wrote the name down on a clean paper.

" No more question, trail can continue. " She was already sitting down in her chair. This speaker, she really listens to. So came the part where he could give his fifth teen minute speech.

"I have nothing really to tell you, then you already know. But what you don't know is that, she would have been the universe greatest mother. She was the finest women alive, she fought when people disappeared, and she still does."

His cheeks rose a little bit more, he had a certain grace about him from the start.

"She calls herself Freedom, why?" He looked out to his audience. "Because she still believes in it. But what she really gave up was love. The thing that we can give her here. In her own home. We are the one she loved, dedicated more then ten years of her, then, young life for. She stood up for us, she gave us hope in dark times. She was our light, or star in this dark end of the universe." He might be a politician, crossed her mind, he had the voice for it. "I recall listing to her voice in the Senate, spoke with a voice that came from Naboo. The very soul of Naboo. She was the one who made our both people to come together. She has a reason here, she has friends here, and she has family here. She had her life here. That is what you is taking away from her." He pointed direct at the queen without raising his hand. He did it with his voice. He had captured everyone who listens to him. "We are the ones who won't let her come home. We are the ones who are killing the Freedom fighters warm and loving heart. We are the enemies of the truth, pure freedom and love in this universe. If we don't let her come home." She thought it was the first time under his speech he actually showed an emotion. "I loved that voice from the first time I heard it, anyone who didn't had to be crazy. She was the fire that was the foundation of democracy." Sola saw that this was true, he had loved her voice. "I talked to her at one point on Coruscant, at that moment we talked about the universe. She had hopes, dreams of a better one - a brighter one. She also told me that her heaven was her heart, and that her heart was in Naboo. This was the planet she had been the queen of, so of course she would say that. As a guard in the Senate, I heard this many times. But not one single senator said it with such a pureness or truth in her voice." Dame he was skilled to maximum. She had to give him that. "She spoke the truth, this was her heart. The people that loved her, the heart of hers belonged to Naboo. I only made the travel here to tell you this. I'm not from Naboo, I only meet her a few times. But if she is rejected to get home. Without even getting a chance to have her voice heard. I had to give her one." Sola smiled in his direction, with the mass behind him, supported him like they did now. The queen had no choice but to redraw her arguments against Padmé. She had to thank this man later, who ever he was, he gave her sister the right to come home. "I give the voice of the whole Senate when I say that; if you won't let this women to come home to her heart. You, as a nation, are responsible for the women's death. She loved you, and you turn your back on her."

That was his end. People were actually crying at the end. Padmé had to meet this man, he would be her savior. The people were with him on this one.

" I call for the voting to begin. " Said a calm voice of Jafan. The queen looked down on them from her higher stand. Did she really have a choice? The queen had to do it. She took her hands up in the air, making everyone quiet. The silence was not the comfortable one.

" The voting will begin shortly. Make sure you know what you're voting for. " The voice said out to tha mass who was already on its way to vote in the stands. Just breathe Sola, just keep on breathing. She told herself. She excused herself for Jafan and walked out to the hall. She was too nervous, this was the time for her sister to get her conviction.

And her sister was not even there. Shaking her hands as she walked up and down the hall. Creaking her neck just as she was worming up for gymnastics as a teenager. Sola stopped by the window, looking out at the world.

The world Padmé so dearly wanted to visit one more time. She knew her sister would do anything to get one more look at their family house, the garden and the waterfall. If she could only be by her side right now. She wondered what Padmé did just in this moment.

If she actually was alive, it had been moths since she had heard from her sister. Months before she knew if she was alright.

* * *

TBC...


	5. Sad News

**On Coruscant moments later**

The temple was on its way up to its former glory.

He couldn't under any circumstances understand how Palpatine would want this all gone. It was a place of learning, patience and peace. Both man and women in light brown robes walking down stairs and hallways. It seemed like it never had happened. But he had seen the tapes. Seen it all, even though master Yoda strongly disproved of it.

Obi-Wan was on his way to leave the temple when a familiar jingle reached his ear from his pocket. Picking up the thin small object that still jingled until he had it in his hand. A familiar form of a woman came in a small haloshape.

"Obi, it's so wonderful to se you!" Her voice was the same over the time and space. They were so alike.

"My dear, how are you these day then?" The face of the halo image smiled in his direction.

"Oh I'm just fine, Obi! Have you heard anything from my sister?" He knew it was way she had contact him in the first place, they could not have contact before the final say on Naboo. He shocked his head, knowing she saw it.

"No I haven't but I am on my way home to the apartment as we speak." Trying to comfort the young women he had in his hand. She still had her sad look on her face as she sad good bye. All those years, and still he could never see a true smile on her face.

She hadn't found the hope or the love in her life yet.

He still hoped that she would. Even though he almost knew she never would again.

* * *

Oh, yeah buhhuh, a little bit sad/short... but I gotta go, got my last day yeasterday soo got to celebrte now, how about a hamburger:P

Any how TBC... peace out --->


	6. Naboo Trial part 2

Take a deep breathe now, just breathe. This is for your sister. The voice seemed to be her father, one single voice who pushed her to the door to enter the room again. As if she didn't want to se the crowd she closed her eyes as she walked in. But she had to open the, as she heard her welcome from the people. They loved her sister, and they loved her feeling that had driven her to take this measure to the queen. If only Padmé was here to see her people. She would have been so touched. She almost blushed at the welcome she got.

Taking her seat next to Jafan, looking up towards the queen. Sometimes she was impressed by her acting skills. The way you never knew what was going on inside her head, or the way she never gave away for any emotion or reaction in any discussion. It was truly impressing. Her handmaids was standing there, and she recondite two or three of them from that her sister had been their queen. She hadn't spoke to anyone of them, or the queen in private. So she had no idea of way they worked for the new queen. It was normal for the queen to select new handmaids as she took over the throne.

Sola just sat there as the time went by, feeling the pressure raise for every second. Her pulse being way over the normal condition. Looking over the crowd she made eye contact with her father. He had the same look on his face. Tense and serious, mother just looked scared. Out of her two daughters she just had one home right now. She understood them both. She obvious had her fathers look on her face, and she was scared to death inside.

This was the least she could do for her sister. If everything could be alright again. This was the last thing Padmé wanted. She couldn't find her love, so she just wanted peace for her own soul to rest somewhere she knew was safe. Somewhere she knew she belonged. If only the man in black could enter the door on the other side and tell them all that Padmé could return home. She knew her sister would take the first flight over to her home. Jafan looked over at her giving her the twelfth smile since she walked in. He had nothing to say, they didn't know what to say. All they could do was to sit there and wait. Maybe five more minutes. 'Oh, why did she come back so fast. She knew she would be nervous' Water, cold as if it was just ice in the glace in her hand. But she needed something for her throat. Looking over all the paintings on the wall again. And her eyes stopped at the painting she remembered all to well. It was Padmés offering to this hall...

_Padmé turned around to look at her. She didn__'__t look the same, it wasn__'__t just the fact that her face was painted all white. It was something in her eyes. _

_" Which one, Sola? I can__'__t decide on my own" The voice that belonged to her sister came from the stranger in front of her. Just a month ago, the young queen in front of her had been her sister. Her oh so beloved sister she would do anything for. They had played out on the fields just three moths ago. Not been worrying about their clothes. Now she was the Queen of Naboo, the highest person on the planet. The youngest one ever elected. Their parents were so proud of her, and in some strange way. Sola weren't jealous. She had an idea how it would be for her to be queen and looking at it from her side, it didn__'__t seem that glamour__'__s to have all that reasonability. _

_" Padmé, your queen now. " She said to her younger sister. " This is going to be one of the smallest decisions you will make" Padmés eyes on her and she felt like a teacher. " You are going to make life and death decisions later. A painting should be easy for you"_

_" Maybe it should " She said with, still, Padmé voice. It wasn__'__t a queen, even if it looked like it. " But this is the painting that will make my memory to the afterworld. How I want Naboo to remember me. So it isn__'__t just some painting hanging on a wall. It__'__s my painting on the wall " Sola just putting a hand on the young queens troubled shoulder. _

_" Then I think you will hang the first one up. As a sister and trusted friend since you where born. I know that you love the open fields and the love that comes out from the painting, is the same love that comes from your heart " If she wasn__'__t crazy, she could have been betting her sister was near to cry at that moment . . . . . ._

Just as close Sola was to cry, if not that blasted man could walk in now. This room had to many memories for her. If her sister couldn't return home to this room and the hallway outside, she just wanted to run away from this place. It was unbearable for her to remember all those moments she had. The hallway where he sister had told her about what she wanted to do with the planet, how she wanted to bring peace to the universe. The same hallway she had found Padmé just the moment before her coronation, looking out through the same window Sola before had looked out through. Looking over the most beautiful sight of Naboo, the gardens and people they both loved so very deeply. A young man in a red and brown uniform came to Jafans side whispered something in his ear and turned away. Looking for an expression on her old friends face, not even now he gave anything away.

" What did he say? "

" It will take just two minutes more. It's close. " He said with a tension in his voice. He was nervous he to. In some strange way it was comforting to know that even Jafan was nervous. Didn't feel so stupid to be it yourself that way.

Breathe in, breathe out. The voice said inside her head. Keep yourself calm. One more look at her father, one more time eye contact. She nodded to his question that didn't have words out laud. Just a short second and it would all be over, good or bad, it would be over. Almost right to her fathers right stood the strange Shmi. The young man with a hood over his face. Leaning against a pillar, not looking at anything really. Just had his eyes somewhere else. Didn't seem to be there. He made her feel uncomfortable. It was something mysterious about him she didn't like. If Obi-Wan had been there he would know what it was, he was good at that.

And suddenly the echo came. Two hard knocks on the wooden door on the other side of the large room. All raise, and one last hard knock. The doors came up and in the middle of the opening stood one single man. A man in a black robe over a larger red one that was shown down at his feet. She could have heard a needle fall to the ground by the door, that was how quiet it was at the moment. The man looked at all the people before he even took one step forward, just to feel the tension that was in the large room. His steps echoed through the silence making his way to the queen. 'Just speed it up now would you? Please, just tell us the answer' Sola had never felt this nervous before. Finally the man came up to his place to the queens right. She so did not need anymore drama right now. As he rolled the paper up to read the answer to every ones question.

" In the position of judge in the capital of Naboo, I have the result of your voting... " As all the voting in the larger cities on Naboo's votes. Their day in this room had been shown in every city on Naboo that had the right to vote in these kind of situations.

"... The question was as fallow; 'The measures that have been taking about the former senator Padmé Amidala Naberrie, as she made a disappearing. Not horning her home worlds wishes to represent the Naboo people at the ceremony of the democracy's rebirth at Coruscant. With this, will our former senator Padmé Amidala Naberrie will be aloud to return to her home planet?'... " The man looked out to make sure that every one knew what the question was.

" ...The result of the people voting is unanimous, our former senator is going to be aloud to return back to the planet Naboo to live here again "

Sola didn't know what to do, but she was breathing again. Crying, hugging Jafan that was the person closest to her at the moment. Her sister was aloud to return home. Her people voted for her, making sure that she could return to Naboo after all these years.

* * *

TBC... want to see how Padmé reacted maybe... well you just have to wait for another chapter ---> 


	7. Tatooine

**Padmé in a bar somewhere out in the universe**

Drinking had become a habit. Made it not feel that much. Took it almost away from her eyes as she closed them. It was too early for the people living on this sand planet to be in there. Just the town drunks where in, and her. She didn't mind, she didn't want any company. She had made it clear as she walked in she wasn't a whore or a woman looking for some bed tonight. Just a tired hunter in need for something to take her mind of things. To her surprise it was a woman behind the disk taking her orders. Just as long the glace she had in front of her had some alcohol in it, she didn't care what it was.

She was done, she had the money in hand, the scars to prove it. She had come here to do one thing she had dreamt of for many years now. It was just, she hadn't been out here in this end of the universe to even be close to full fill it. Now she had the chance and she would burry him tomorrow, for real making sure that he would disappeared for real from her mind. It wasn't a happy place. Nobody lived here to be happy, or to live here for the fun or the beauty of the planet. They lived here because they had to.

The reason for people to visit was not many, there wasn't for religion, wealth or the action. It didn't happen a lot here. It was just warm and a place to drink and get loaded for take off two seconds later. Her ship was not the normal to take down here, that was sure. The other ones in the hanger was mostly old and on their way to fall apart, roast was all over them and the people (if you could call them that) was just as their machines. She had only one reason to not hate this planet, and it was the same reason she hated it. It was twisted really. One more drink and she would get of the chair to get going. Taking it all as one she stared at the empty glace.

" You want another one? " The voice of Camille said in front of her. Her head screamed yes, take my scull away please. But her head outside shock it and told her that she had to get going. Leaving amount of what they called money here. Giving her body a second to realise she stood up for the first time since the last couple of hours she had been drinking.

'Oh, this was all his fault!'

The sun was way to strong out side to not wear glasses. They took away a lot of the bright light that just wanted to get to her eyes. And she didn't have to look at the people outside of the glasses, as they didn't se her discussed eyes. She didn't like what she saw. It wasn't what she wanted to find here. Walking towards the hanger, not slipping once. Years of drinking had made her body used to the amount of alcohol that was only normal for drunks.

No one would guess she was the famous Freedom that fought for everyone's freedom, this poor women who drank all her problems away. No, it wasn't those stories mothers told their children every night. It almost made her laugh, so little they all knew about the truth. They didn't know why she turned out this way. How she did it all. What she had done for real. How many nights she had walked to a bed with blood all over her. They had no idea of the truth.

And maybe it was for the best.

* * *

Is it really Padmé? eh yeah it's her actually... sorry! but think about it, she have lost her only kid and her life/love Anakin... So give her a reason to not drink... 

TBC... ---->


	8. Funeral

**Padmé** left Le'Kaal, afte one of her many 'jobs', trying to take away the pain she ended up in a bar on Tatooine.

**Sola** is fighting for her sisters right to return home to her homeplanet Naboo, and trys not to feel to homesick to her new home on Coruscant and Obi Wan.

**Obi-Wan** is still fighting the feeling he have lost his Brother/Son/Friend/Padwan, now more then ever since nither Sola or Padmé is around to talk to.

This is where we come in... and the place is Tatooine's desert somewhere -- enjoy -->

* * *

Tatooine was a lonely planet she had no reason else to visit the sandy planet. Looking over the endless view of sand and small hills was nothing like her own planet. She really wanted to see it again, the small farm of Owen's. Just one more time. Dreaming away to the last time she ever visit the place, caught by the speed that released her mind increased.

Full speed over the desert in front of her.

Slowing down just as she saw the thing she waited for. The hot air came as her speed died, taking the first step closer to what had sailed her destiny all those years ago. She didn't cry, didn't show any emotion at all.

She knew she had to do it, just had to.

If she ever wanted to move on with her life, all she had to do was to bury him here. Leave and never look back. It had been Shmi's cross, now it would contain her son's spirit as well. She was crying on the inside as she made a hole in the ground with her gloved hands.

The sand.

'I don't like the sand it's rough, and it's get everywhere…..'

She didn't even remember his voice anymore.

He was on his way out of her mind, her memory. Taking a deep breath as she looked down at the small hole she made. With a shaking hand she pulled the necklace out from her pocket on the side.

Throwing her gloves at the side she touched the wood one last time. Feeling it, the only memory that actually stuck, the young Anakin giving her the necklace onboard the ship on their way to Coruscant. She wanted, really, to cry.

But remember the feeling when she felt her unborn child's blood on her hands. It made her confused, no real emotion came to her surface, it was just images of different events of her life flashing by as every time she felt like this. Taking a deep breath she let go, it was like slow motion. Watching the necklace fall down in the darkness.

She was almost desperate when she covered the hole again. Just wanted to leave the place. Knowing she had nothing left of him to remember him by. Nothing she could touch and get a flashback or an emotion, memory even. She had given him all, and he had taken everything away from her. She didn't want to have anything to remember the feeling of being so lost, ever again. No more would she cry over his memory, cry in her sleep that he wasn't by her side.

She was no longer Padmé Skywalker, she was once again Padmé Naberrie. No not even that.

She was Freedom, now when she was free from her past demons.

She had her own freedom to catch…. And she had done it, just by leaving him behind. Not looking back at the sad view that was behind her.

Anakin Skywalker was dead, so was Padmé Skywalker.

From this moment on they where history.

* * *

Talk about funeral ha?

yeah I know, but I promise you guys, I'm not suicidal... promise I'm not, It's just I have to make a point here... It's not ok, to hurt someone you care about, but you all all ready know that... so what's the point! Anyhow, it's going to take a while for me to make a new chapter now, but I'll be back as soon as I can I promise!

Peace out...

TBC--->


	9. New News

**Left off** ... Padmè said her last good bye to Anakin Skywalker on his homeplanet Tatooine

And now? -->

* * *

Obi Wan had great news for his friend, but she didn't answer his calls out for her. It wasn't something abnormal about it. But it kind of took the exiting away. After his fifth try to reach her, he recorded his message. Telling her she could visit her mother on her way back to her holiday on Coruscant. He couldn't help but to laugh and smile the hole way through the message. 

He was just as happy as he looked, but he couldn't beat Sola at laughing and the happiness she must be feeling.

Looking at the Halo net news on the wall he just sighs, all these years and still they were at war in some distance systems. Didn't they know they didn't really have to fight anymore, they had won the war. It had been almost six, maybe eight years ago. It was almost midnight now as he walked out to the balcony to look out over Coruscant.

Looking at the yellow dark sky line as there was still traffic in the air as sounds every where he could hear. This was a planet that never slept not even a minute with peace and quiet on this planet. That was what made the Temple so special in his mind. It was the quiet source for peace. Just what many people searched for on this actually very lonely planet. There was millions and millions of people living on the planet, and there were millions of lonely people. People with out love, peace or reason to keep on living.

He had Sola, his reason these days to fight and love each day. She was the reason why he walked out of bed each day to face all of this pain and decisions he had to. He wanted to celebrate Padmés victory on Naboo, But it didn't feel right to do it alone. Wanted to share it with her and Sola, maybe the whole Naberrie family. Just not alone. He really felt alone, maybe it was the same feeling as Padmé was feeling.

The feeling of loneliness.

* * *

Sola couldn't stop smiling as she walked throw the room. The victories were in the bag, she had done it and succeed. Her mother had been so overwhelmed that she had fainted on the spot. Just to be caught up by Sola's father just an inch from the ground. But she wanted more then anything to have Obi-Wan and Padmé with her here to celebrate. 

She knew Obi would read some books maybe and just go to bed after wards. And she had no idea of what or where Padmé was at the moment. She could be here and celebrate with her family. It could be just like in the old days.

The happy days.

Before everything happened with the quick up and down fall of an empire. She had never understood what had happen to her sister, but she never became the same person. The loving caring Padmé was gone, a shallower Padmé had raised from the ashes. Looking over Theed at nightfall almost made her moody. It was beautiful in all its colors and environment around it. It was as looking into a painting. This was her home, no matter what Obi-Wan said.

This would always be in her heart.

* * *

Making sure nothing was damage on the out side she walked up the ramp into the ship. It was sure as hell not the same kind of ship she had been used to since her time as queen of Naboo. It had been her real home over the years, she had everything she needed. Even thou she had an apartment on Coruscant, she spend at least twice as much time on the ship. So nothing could be wrong with her baby. Touching the bottom to seal herself from the world out side she sighed. 

She had done it.

Nothing left, just herself and nothing more. Looking over her cloths she really needed a shower a clean clothes on that. Just to really be a new Padmé/Freedom.

Stepping out of her bedroom in the vessel she sat down by the window out to an empty space. On her side an orange light slowly flashed in the corner of her eye. Pushing the small bottom down with her finger she saw the familiar figure of Obi-Wan. Listening to his comforting words, just as he said the sentences she almost dropped the glass she had in her hand.

Can go home, can go home…

The three words kept ringing in her ears. One single tear fell on her cheek as she just stood there looking at the space where the figure had been. Starring at the empty spot it was now.

Feeling completely numb.

No emotions with words could tell her how she felt at the moment.

What on Naboo's green earth could have been going on.

* * *

**TBC---> Now what do you think? Tell me, I really want to know :D**


	10. Welcome Home

A short chapter here... so you can see I'm not dead or anything :P Plz R&R and tell me what you think about this..

**I don't owe any charactars**, they can all be find in the Star Wars Saga/Novel/movie...

* * *

**A month later on Naboo**

You could cut the tension in the air. People where standing around the long road up to the palace waiting for there, almost, hero from the Clone Wars and all time favorite Senator. Theed was decorated with flowers and balloons filling the air. Colors were in all kinds that made you think it was the rainbow up there. Waiting, not something they liked in the audience, Padmé Amidala Naberrie was supposed to have landed an hour ago.

The question was, where was she?

The big parade that was supposed to come, informing that she was on her way. Had not reached Theed's main street yet. But if you want to wait for candy….

Obi Wan and Sola was standing next to Padmés parents and next to the queen. Waiting for the long lost daughter sister and friend. As said, you could easily cut the tension into small pieces with a knife.

Finally they all heard the music the parade was coming closer. Sola's breathing didn't reach the normal level. Not until she had seen her sister, not until then she could start breathing correctly. Looking over to her mother, she was on her way to cry. But this time, Sola knew it would be happiness falling down her cheeks. She saw the Gualamas decorated with pink and yellow strips over them, and young girls dance in front of the large animals. Behind them artists playing some sort of short parts of their history as the moved along the streets. The colors were what catch everyone's eye. The colors of happiness and easiness, bright and colorful. It was a sight for the eye indeed.

The queen had put out a fortune to make sure that the welcome of the Senator Naberrie would be remembered. Something must have made her change her mind drastically, just three months ago. She didn't even want to hear the name Padmé Naberrie. Now, it was magnificent. Kylantha herself was sitting in front of the palace as the queen should as took look at it all. She really looked like a queen in her white and red gown. Not even showing any emotions at all at the spectacle in front of her. Not even recondite her peoples joy over the return of the Senator.

Padmés old handmaids, from her time as queen, where seated in the honor balcony at the queens right side. But only four would be there. Sabé, Yané, Rabé and Saché were sitting with large smiles on their faces as they waited for their former queen and friend.

To the queens left was Padmés handmaids from her time as Senator, both Dormé and Moteé where there as now official politicians as they had studied the game from behind the famous Senator. And together with them where the young Ellé, sitting by waited exited for her old mistress to show up before them. The left side was dressed in white gowns as a light red and pink strips was showing every curve on their body. Telling everyone around them, that they where female. The right side was in Padmés color as a queen, red and brown gowns looking down at the people.

Before them the show continued for a while. The delicate dance was perfect in every detail as they made the show go around them as they had stopped in the center of the square. Colorful ribbons filled the air in the sunshine as the parade continued for five more minutes, and there it came. The end of the parade, a different music tone came after them. White gualaars were pulling a carriage decorated with white flowers as the guest of honour was waving her hand to her people once again. Sola could not hide her happiness against her sister. She didn't care about the hours her handmaids had put on her face. Her sister was home again. She knew that it would be alright from now on.

What else could go wrong now?

* * *

Soon it will be from Padmés POV... I'm just alittle bit tired to put it out here... but it will come!

As said upbove here... If you wait for candy, you can wait a long time... Just to get a little candy bite :P


	11. Not Gone

**Oki so I promised a view form Padmés POV of her return to Naboo, and I never break a promise so here you go. And plz review if you got the time later... I love to hear from you!**

_**The end of the parade, a different music tone came after them. White gualaars were pulling a carriage decorated with white flowers as the guest of honour was waving her hand to her people once again. Sola could not hide her happiness against her sister. She didn't care about the hours her handmaids had put on her face. Her sister was home again. She knew that it would be alright from now on.**_

_**What else could go wrong?**_

Yeah, what could go wrong for Padmé, wanna fin out? **Read and try to figure it out ENJOY IT NOW!**

* * *

Watching from a distance. He could see it all from here. The parade walking slowly forward. It was just a half smile showing on his lips. It was her. It really was her, the beauty he couldn't rub away from his memory. 

She was too amazing to be forgotten.

* * *

Waving her hand towards the people, they where happy for her. She was happy, the first time in what seemed forever she was truly happy for herself. One hand on her dress beneath her in her lap. It had been a long time since she had a dress on. Feeling like a women again in it. It was white, slim decorated with white small flowers. Hearing the music in front of her as well as the side, along with the sound from her people. She didn't her exactly what they where screaming, but she didn't really care at the moment as she had a wired feeling in her stomach. 

Someone was watching her.

But keep on smiling, and think about it later. Some other day, when she didn't have so many people around her. Theed was so beautiful today, so many light colors that was just for her. Balloons and happy kids where running for her on the side. Her smile wasn't fake, it was real. From one side of her face to the other. Still waving her hand to the people, feeling her arm beginning to be heavier and heavier. But she couldn't stop, deny her people the happiness they must feel right now. They had something to celebrate today, and she had no intention on ruin their day.

Laughing a bit as she saw a poster with a huge painting of herself on it. It was waving in the wind as she passed it. The girls at its side were cheering for her. It made her heart flip for a second. She had no idea of who they where, but here they where. They had even painted her. She must mean something for them, if they did that for her. She could see the palace from here now, it had been so many years. One tear was slowly coming down, it was only one. But it was enough.

Oh, what she had plead for this sight in her dreams. And now it was here. Just a few minutes and she would be feeling its ground. Oh, how she would love to feel it once more. Keep on smiling, even wider. She felt special, oh everything she felt was too much. One second she felt that, for the next second feel something different. She sat there, watching, observing, and just looking around her. She knew this was something, they never would experience again. Not in their lifetime anyway. Laughing at some comment she heard from the people.

And finally she saw her family, Sola mother and father. Even Obi Wan was standing there by her sister side. It made her heart jump over a beat. That was her family, the only ones she trusted in her life. And yet she had been lying to them. But just seeing them there, waiting for her, was something she never felt before. She felt overwhelmed by love. She was loved, really loved by people whom she loved back. Smiling as the caravan stopped at the square in front of the palace.

Taking one last huge breath before taking that step.

Finally she had her foot on Naboo.

She busted out in laugh as she turned around to greet her people she had ruled many years ago. Smiling and truly laughing, happily to see them all. She probably didn't even know any of them, but just to see so many people to be there to meet her.

Oh, she was overwhelmed! Waving her hand even more as she started to walk up the steps that were to greet current queen of Naboo. As she saw the blonde beauty, Padmé couldn't say that she had ever seen the women in real life. And yet, she had worked for her for at least two years. She tossed the questions in her head a way as she was standing in front of her. Smiling towards the women just four years her senior, she was on her way to bow to her queen. As Kylanthas hand was raised as to stop her, and the queen bowed to Padmé. She was stunned. No queen bows to a commoner.

" No queen, former or present, shall be bowing to the person who has denied her her home " She said with her head up high. Not looking down on her, but not forgetting her status in life. Padmé just nodded as in a thank you. Still taken from the previous scene in front of her " Greet your family, so we can get on with our show, your seat is next to mine later " Kylanthas smile seemed so real as she motioned Padmé to greet her mother. She had no idea why this warm-hearted women would have denied her access to her home all this time. This wasn't Coruscant, so would they really play the same game here as well?

Padmé shook it of her shoulders as she hugged her parents in one hug. No matter your rang or your status, how she had missed her fathers present in her life these last couple of months.

" Oh, my daughter is home " He whispered in her ear as he hugged her alone. A tear came as she snuggled her head into his shoulder " It's so great to have you home again Padmé " He said as they parted and he looked into her eyes. She could see it was real, those two eyes would never lie to her. Her father could not, were incapable of laying.

" I love you dad " She whispered and hugged him another time, she just had to. Just to make sure he was for real.

" I love you to, child " She whipped her tears away as she came to her sister. Sola had been standing there next to Obi Wan waiting for her turn, in respect to their parents. Padmé had always admired Sola's smile, it seemed to be an echo of her soul. How a person could be so truly real and not even a glips of fake on her, Padmé had never in her entire life meet anyone like her own sister.

" Sola! " She almost cried out her name as she hugged her older sister for the first time in months. Now it was all over, she was home. With her family, had a long loooooong holiday in front of her. Which she would spend by the beach and just relax. And maybe, she would never go back to Coruscant. She had plans on staying here, retire and never be mentioned again, except from history books in the future as the ruler of Naboo. But for now, she was just as happy as Sola seemed to be, if not more.

" Padmé, oh my little sister has returned " Sola parted from her looking her over " And she looks like a girl again " She smiled, looking at her dress. Padmé was not a big fan of it after her child's death to be anything female. Now, thinking about it. It was a relief to have easy layers of silk over her, not a tight uniform or leather pants.

" Well, I better look good if I'm going to be around mother ! She laughed with Sola. Knowing their mother, girls should be dressed as girls, and boys as boys. So there was a no pants rule in the Naberrie household for the ladies " Oh, it's so great to be back! "

" I can image! " Sola said and nodded to the crowd in front.

" Thank you so much sister. And you got this big boy with you! " She smiled at Obi Wan.

" Well, Greeting to you to Padmé " Obi Wan took her hand to take her into a tight hug. If people didn't know. They would have thought they were the couple and not the two good friends they actually where.

" Well, I have to take my seat. But I was told, I had my rooms ready all ready " Sola nodded as she pushed her in the right direction to the chair waiting for her. Walking pass her parents she saw both Dormé and Moteé smiling and waving hand to her. Smiling back both to them and her other former handmaids she noticed now sitting on the two balconies for special people. Kylantha didn't look at her as she took her seat, Padmé knew why.

But it seemed odd, she couldn't get the feeling out of the way. Not matter how wonderful it was to be home. She wondered why the queen had changed her mind all of the sudden. And why, in the first place, she didn't want Padmé to come back. She didn't understand it for a second.

Breathing out as she was sitting down once more she watched the persons who were sitting around on the special places also started to sit down on their places. The ceremony was just starting as the queen slowly leaned over to Padmés side. The crowd wouldn't even notice her movement. But as a former queen Padmé knew exactly what she did. A letter came from her side.

" Read it when you're alone. It will make all sense. I hope! " With that Kylantha returned to her previously position. Padmé knew it had to be important as she didn't want to make it obvious she was giving it to her.

Blessing her own choice of dress, and the long sleeves coming with it. Padmé hide it in her dress.

Keeping an eye on Kylantha who just smiled at the correct places as the show in front of them continued for more then an hour. It was a very wired feeling she had in her stomach as she had taken the letter in her hand.

* * *

A letter? 

What was so important that the queen couldn't wait to tell Padmé herself later?

Watching it all from a distance. He saw everything they didn't.

Looking over the senators and Padmés relatives gathered around the center where a show had been in her honor. High politicians was seated in the sun, where sweating like pigs in their thick and uncomfortable clothing. Their mistake, they should have known the heat they would produce in the sun. The women had a more strategic clothing in light and many layers clothing dresses.

Sweeping an eye over the crowd, nothing should go wrong to day. He would make sure that nobody would mess up her big day. Nothing seemed to be wrong in the big crowd on the streets as they where watching the show on huge screens. It was a huge moment in her life, and he wasn't even in it. Or by her side.

He had been watching her for so long he had been used to the feeling in his chest.

Would he ever be able to be by her side again?

She had her sister, she had Obi Wan, her parents and friends.

Would they be enough for her to be happy?

She looked happy from his hiding spot, several hundred meters away. But he wasn't close enough to be able to feel her. How many years had he been with out her touch? Not able to cry again. He hadn't been crying in years.

He had done the only thing he was cable of. He had protected her in his own way, in her shadow. Been there, just a few steps behind and taken some of the punches. With out her ever noticing him in the battles and fight she had gotten herself into. Never understood why she did it voluntarily. She could get hurt. But she didn't seem to care if she got hurt or died.

It was like Padmé, the Padmé he had known, was gone. Something he refused to believe.

She was still there, who else would the brunette, the beauty, be?

Sitting there in the sun and shining like the sun herself! She was the star, his heart was her for all eternity.

If only she knew about it! Only knew he was alive after all these years!

* * *

**So what now? Yeah, well I better get on with the story right! Review plz, u like it u hate it? or what do you out there think?**

**TBC anyway --->**


	12. Nightgown

_**" Read it when you're alone. It will make all sense. I hope! " With that Kylantha returned to her previously position.**_

_**But she didn't seem to care if she got hurt or died.**_

_**It was like Padmé, the Padmé he had known, was gone. Something he refused to believe.She was still there, who else would the brunette, the beauty, be? She was the star, his heart was her for all eternity. If only she knew about it! Only knew he was alive after all these years!**_

**And here is the coutinued story from Padmés POV -->**

* * *

Padmé was exhausted, her feet was finally getting the blood that seemed to been stuck in her legs the entire evening. She had totally forgot how it was on these kind of things. Living like she had done for the last couple of years, she didn't mixture herself that much with high society people or parties like these. But it was also a way to connecting herself with her ghost from a long time ago. Just living in her old rooms again, under her fathers roof. She breathed out once more, but the feeling that someone was watching her didn't let her go. As didn't the feeling that she had got from the queen the entire evening. She had watched her from a distance at one point. Kylantha didn't smile.

Yes, she did.

But it wasn't a smile that you could call real. Something was eating the other twenty year old women that were in the center of Naboo's future. She had only two years left on her duty towards their people. Padmé had heard rumors that they wanted her back as their queen, but she knew all to well that the law wouldn't let her rule once more. Not even how much she wanted to. They where laws for a reason, so you should fallow them as they were meant to be followed. The bed seemed comfortable as always. The ship had been her home, but she had made a mistake by not choosing a better bed to it. And now she didn't care that much thought as long she didn't hurt herself. In her nightgown she took the step out side in the cold wind outside her room.

The garden was quiet, you could almost hear the traffic from here if you listen carefully. The flowers smelled sweet in the light cold air around her. The wind that played with her hair that she had let loose. She took the moment to be fragile and what she could have been, a young women.

Not even thirty yet.

But her life was not as all the others on Naboo, she had seen too much. Looking back over her shoulder she saw the small piece of paper laying on the drawer. Deep breathe as she walked back, closing the door, and took it in her hand.

Crawling up in her bed so her back was against the wall she carefully started to open it. As if she were afraid that it would fall apart or be destroyed she realised she was ridicules at the moment. But when she saw the queens handwriting her heart started to speed up a bit. At first she thought it was just a small piece of '_Hello and welcome back to Naboo_' paper, but it was nothing like a hi and hello.

_Be careful Padmé Naberrie. There was a reason I tried to not let you come back to this planet. It was grounded on good intentions. It was better for every one, for you to hate one person. Then to actually know, someone is not dead, that was supposed to. Just remember, my former Queen, there are more then angry farmers out there on our so lovely planet. I do know I can trust you with this, but keep it far from the one who is suppose to be dead._

_Your Kylantha Queen of Naboo_

Padmé couldn't say it was the best good night story she ever read. But that got her wondering, someone was watching her. She could feel it, it bothered her a great deal. This kind of present in the force didn't seem to have the same affect on Obi-Wan. She knew her friend to well, not to realise if something was wrong. He was a little bit too easy to read.

One thought came to mind, something she hadn't been thinking in over three years

_I wish I had Anakin here_

It was an alien feeling for her, it hadn't been there before. Made her shiver. This planet had touched her more then it should. Maybe it was a mistake to actually go back here. But there was something wrong, and she wanted to know what it was. It took the best of her senses away for her curiosity.

* * *

**Shorter and shorter it seem to get... - Yoda!**

**Yeah well, I don't work with a mass pruduktion of text, I want quality... Hehe Anyway, Tell me what to do here, love to hear what you think of me in this story... **

**Love **

**S**


	13. The feeling of HIM

**One thought came to mind, something she hadn't been thinking in over three years**

_**I wish I had Anakin here**_

_**Be careful Padmé Naberrie. There was a reason I tried to not let you come back to this planet**_

_**Your Kylantha Queen of Naboo

* * *

**_

His angel, his heart.

She left the door open for him to enter. He couldn't help it, it had been a long time since he had been this close to her. To long for him not to think in the right way. Her words were still like fire in his heart, fire of pain. The words telling him, she didn't love him anymore. But how could she not love him? He had loved her with his entire heart, nothing else had its place in there. It was only meant for her. Quietly he pushed her glass door open. Took a quick step inside. He was less then seven steps away from her now. Her hair in a lose braid behind her head sleeping on her pillow.

He wanted to touch her, but he didn't dare to do it.

Something told him no. He didn't know what to do. Oh, the great Jedi knight didn't dare to touch her! It was a shame really. Said an other voice in his head, forcing him unwillingly to take two more steps into the room. Padmé rolled over to her back, showing her sleeping relaxed face in the moon light.

His heart stopped beating for a second as he saw her there.

Not believing what he had in front of him. Something called it a dream illusion in his head, something he didn't want to believe. She couldn't be one of his many dreams, they all were the same. Memories of their life, years, together, and what could have been. Always with the same ending.

"You killed our child, Ani"

"Leave me alone Ani!"

The two sentences that broke his heart every night, every time he woke up cold and sweaty every night. And here she was, lying peacefully sleeping. Not knowing what pain she left in his mind and heart, forever. She had made it very clear that she never wanted to see him. Ever again. Which killed him more, then the fact he had killed his own child. Something he never thought to be possible. So much they had wanted that child. And he accidentally killed him or she. He would never know, never hold it in his arms or kiss it good bye. It was an eternal to late to change that. He knew that, but it hurt so bad. She hurted him, with out even know he existed any more. He wanted to shake her awake and tell her that he loved her, alive. Wanted her back. Shouted it to the universe. He wanted it so badly that it ached in his heart just by looking at her. Her letter had fallen to the floor. With quite steps he now had it in his hands.

He didn't understand why Kylantha would tell Padmé that some one would be alive, why didn't she tell him. She was one of the few who knew about him being alive. Even though she didn't know his name. She had called for him under the trial, telling him she couldn't get Padmé to have a ticket home. Someone was holding her rains, and she was warning Padmé about it. But she wouldn't tell him the name.

Who would turn her into this wreak, he had been there.

After the queen before Kylantha had been murdered, he had been with her as a shadow to protect her in a distance. Just as he had done for Padmé, only the fact that the blonde queen knew about him. He had a feeling but pushed it aside as he laid the paper on the desk by the window.

Only the change that he put Padmés, what he knew, favourite flower in a purple colour. He wanted to kiss her good bye, something he hadn't done before. He probably would never be able to do again.

Before he left her room, he turned around to se that she had flipped over to the other side, still looking like a angel.

* * *

Something was in the air, a familiar smell. A taste from the past. She knew it, wouldn't want to recognise it, but she did.

A tear came down her cheek as she finally woke up. Curling up in the corner of her bed. Watching the desk by the window she stopped breathing. It confirmed everything she thought wouldn't be true. Crying she hided her face behind her knees, not wanting to face the truth that was so real in front of her.

She cried, not knowing where the tears came from, weren't they gone? Believing she had cried all her tears away years ago. Hadn't she crossed her heart, telling herself she would never cry over that man ever again. A quite knocking on her door woke her up. But she didn't look up. Knowing that her eyes where red by know from crying.

" Padmé? " Obi-Wan's voice were everything else but cherry or happy, it seemed to be tense. She felt how he took a seat on her bed not knowing what to do with the crying woman before him. Who was known for her strength and mind of steal. Not to be weak or for her feelings, like these she were showing right now. When she finally looked up, her eyes were indeed red from all her tears. " No smile to be seen. Padmé? " He asked again.

" He was here! " Was the only answer he got " He was here, Obi! " She said with a new wave of tears. Throwing herself at him. Obi-Wan was taken by surprise but only hugged her as she kept on crying. He had no idea of what else to do. Had no idea of what she had been seen or heard that night. But also he felt it in the force now. Obi-Wan couldn't say he had been feeling it before. He had no idea he could do it all over again, but obviously there were no evidence he wouldn't do it again. He had to speak to master Yoda.

' But master Yoda, I felt it ' Obi-Wan sat down in the low chairs in one of the Naberrie's large yellow rooms. Feeling quite worried that master Yoda hadn't been feeling anything. None of them in the council had even thought the idea to be possible.

' Master Kenobi. We have no evidence that it would be true ' Said the newest member of the council into the hologram of Obi-Wan in the centre of them all. The not so young Jedi smiled when she wanted to return to the young women in the centre for the first question. ' And our young Amidala, how is she handling it? If she was the first to feel the present of him ' Obi-Wan once more signed he had already told them.

' She and her sister are out by the lake. So I have not been able to talk to her since she told me. And she didn't feel it, she felt his smell, and recognised her flower. ' He told them in a quick review.

' It's really disturbing that he could get that close to her. But why Padmé? You mentioned a flower? What was that all about? ' Obi-Wan didn't know how to answer that question, Padmé had only told him about the flower this morning. And the council didn't know about Padmé and Anakin, which it was all about. But if he took it as a small version it would be easier.

' She gave one of them to him the last time they actually spoke on Coruscant. It was as a friendly good bye as he took of together with me ' He gave as a answer, seeing Yoda where it deep thought about the whole situation he hoped it gave anything away. It would be devastating for Padmé to relive everything again. He didn't want that to his to become sister-in-law. It would also force him and Sola to go though a lot of why didn't you tell me situations.

' We have all to be on our guard, and Obi-Wan keep Padmé safe as she will heal on Naboo ' With that the halo figures disappeared one at the time. Obi-Wan didn't know what to do. Honestly he never thought he would have this fight inside is head. Just a few years ago he never thought he would have feelings towards another being except his brothers and sisters inside the Jedi order. It had all change, he couldn't say he was really sorry for the change. It had giving him so much in life, but the lose had been even deeper.

He had lost a brother and a friend in one person he never thought he would say good bye to, which he didn't even do. His head in his hands, deep in thought as he could hear people from the other side of the window. It was Sola's younger cousins playing in the smaller garden under the bushes and through flowers. Maybe one day he would have some small things as his own. He smiled at that thought, that of all things hadn't been possible five years ago. Once he had that as a idea he thought of Sola, his wonderful Sola.

" Obi-Wan? Were are you? " He heard the voice of older Mrs Naberrie through one of the halls that reached his ear.

" I'm right with you " He raised up form the chair to see her familiar face, with a shy smile playing on her lips.

" You have to help me, I'm to short and Sola can simply not be found " She said admitting some of her few faults, not easily to count since she rarely admitted them.

" She and Padmé is visiting your lake house for the day, they'll be home by the late dinner " He said as he fallowed her out of the room. He did everything to be the perfect to-be husband to Sola, which also meant de a nice son-in-law.

* * *

Falling asleep was not as easy as it should be.

She was shaken, not even the lake took the feeling away. It was like it took away all those years and pushed them aside. She crept to bed, after first made sure she closed the door at least five times. Couldn't say she wasn't nervous or afraid. After these years she wasn't afraid when she was fighting soldiers or big companies of men.

But now, she was screamed to her inner bones. The question was if she needed the sleep. Could she just stay awake instead of fall asleep.

Maybe he didn't come tonight.

One more look around her room, nothing was moved since the past five seconds she had looked around. Slowly she crept down beneath the sheets. Her heat skipped a beat as she heard something on the outside. Probably just a bird, but it caught her of guard. Calming herself down again she closed her eyes. Breathing as calmly as she could maybe she could sleep this night as well, with out the present of her past. The normal cold fresh senses she had around her, but something else came through it.

His smell. Her heart jumped, not again.

Her eyes flashed open, but her room were empty. But the next feeling surprised her. She felt disappointed. Why would she do that? She had given up all hope that the real past would come back. It was long gone, that life she was supposed to live was not even close to come again. She left it quickly, not wanting the memory to play with her.

After knowing she were alone she finally fell asleep.

* * *

**Will she be alone to night? Or what will happen? you can tell me, or I will write something compleatly diffrent...**

**Love S**


	14. Attempt on your life

**_But now, she was screamed to her inner bones. The question was if she needed the sleep. Could she just stay awake instead of fall asleep._**

**_Maybe he didn't come tonight_**

_**His smell. Her heart jumped, not again**_

* * *

A very odd dream, full of emotions and disappointing signs that didn't leave her alone. She had always felt secure on Naboo. But these past days had been nothing but scary and odd. Nothing like her glory days. She walked to the mirror and was her brayed hair on one side, looking in her own eyes they felt cold and old. Like the belonged to a other person, older experienced women in her eighties. Not hers. 

It felt like forever, and her entire life flashed her by in the mirror.

At the moment all she wanted was to leave the planet, find a new problem out there and get it done. Not staying here with this weird feeling in her heart that her entire world would change very soon. Something she really didn't see herself ready for at all. Being calm, something she was famous for, was not some thing she couldn't find in her mind. All that training Obi-Wan had made her do, all for nothing, seemed to have gone away. Her safety was on her spaceship, and she wasn't there, she was standing in her old room.

With a heavy heart, she turned her back to the mirror. Not knowing what was awaiting her in the other room.

Sola wasn't happy, and she didn't do anything to hide her feelings towards the blonde woman sitting in the chair next to her. Obi-Wan had a quiet conversation with a man in the other corner, she had never seen the man before. That concerned her, and what was worse was that they were here to talk to her sister.

What would Kylantha want to talk to her sister about?

And why at all care about her sisters safety, she was the woman who didn't want Padmé to get back.

It was a tense air in the room, she didn't have to be a Jedi to feel it. It was to easy. Quiet footsteps walking towards the door, made every person in the room look at the door. Sola didn't care that the queen herself was in the room, she rose to her feet to greet the person who was on its way in. But was stopped at the door by one of Kylantha's guards.

" Excuse me? "

" It's okey " She heard the calm voice of Kylantha say behind her back. It made her blood boil for a short second that she held the power in her own house. But as she reached for the door and she saw her sisters face in the hallway, she started to feel calm again.

" Hi? " She looked at Sola suspicious. She never answered her sisters question, just opened the door a little bit more to show the others in the room. Padmé looked tiered at once, only her cold eyes. Nothing else in her little sister showed it, but her eyes.

" Padmé Naberrie! " Kylantha was on her feet looking at the two sisters. Nodded and looked more intense on Padmé

" Can I have a word with you? " Padmé walked into the room " In private? " Sola reacted, turning around looking angry at the blonde woman.

" Sola! " Padmés voice stopped her before she had the chance to say anything " You can all leave us? " She pronounced the word all, a little extra, and it was something cold about the words she said. Sola just looked at Padmé and walked out from the room. Waiting in the hall.

* * *

Padmé only was Sola in the door opening, but those eyes was the ones she had grown up with and when she didn't even answer her question, she knew it was something off. And it was, the queen was in her house. It felt almost like an insult right into her face for her. But she couldn't deny the queen her percents.

" Padmé Naberrie, I can't say I'm happy to be here " She started, not such a good start for a conversation in Padmés eyes.

" Well, I can't say anything different " Didn't feel like she had to be more softer then Kylantha, or warmer.

" Straight to the point, you don't want me here for to long, it's about the letter! " Padmé looked at her, didn't show any emotions what so ever. That was something she had learned in all those trips around in the universe.

" Yes? You were talking about something about hate for one person " Padmé had no interest in the dead, so why even ask about it. They were already dead if they were. Kylantha took her seat once more in the chair, just like Padmé did. But in a safe distance away from her. Might be respect somewhere in her heart. Not that she would show her that, she was her queen nothing more nothing less.

" Better for you to love your family, then love me and be dead. That's why I won't say 'happy staying' but I will say a 'happy good bye' 'Cause then we'll know you will survive here "

She made a dramatic pause, something Padmé knew she had learnt in the capital, and the school the 'good' girls went to.

" Can you tell me, straight out, what your doing? " All she wanted was straight answers, They had nothing more. Just questions and answers. It was questions that needed answers, that was it.

" No, not if you want to be alive " She said easy as if it was just air coming out " What I can tell you, is to be careful "

" I have been, always! " She corrected the serious blonde who looked a bit shocked at her words, weak spot " What is so dangerous that the calm queen can't tell what might be the death of the former queen? " Padmé looked into the queens eyes, knowing that she would win, just a matter if time

" You know who I am, what I have done, and what I can do. What and who is my threat? "

" Yes, I know exactly what you can do. But under no circumstances can I tell you who it is, only that the person are watching us right now " That was cryptic, Padmé didn't like it.

" Only one? "

" One! "

" They have to be more then one to be a threat to me. Every one know that! _Who?_ " The last word was nothing that could be connected with friendly. It was as cold as her eyes at the moment.

" Can't pronounce the name " She avoided to answer.

" What sex? If you can't say the name, tell me who it is " This was not a question, this was a command. Something the queen was not used to. She was very offended, this was shown by her face.

" Male "

" Good, next! " Kylantha didn't want to look her in the eyes. She acted like a child in front of the former queen. Suddenly she rose to her feet and didn't say a word. Until she reached the door. Turned around and looked at the brunette.

" I'll tell you, when you need to know. But don't contact me, I'm your queen. Your not the queen anymore, don't act like one" She stated and walked out. Padmé didn't understand, why she acted like she did. At first she got the impression that Kylantha was protecting her, in the end it felt like she was protecting herself.

A frosty conversation outside the not closed door, was heard and then people leaving her parents house. For a short moment the entire house was quiet, then she heard her sisters quiet voice talk to Obi-Wan. Padmé was tired of words. Looking at the shadows behind the door, she had no intentions to talk to them now.

The window was open due to the heat in the room.

A huge deep sign and she decide that the dress isn't to much in the way.

* * *

He just watched from abroad, behind the garden he could see two other figures. One of them he knew very well. One he had never visited in the years of a life he had in shadow. He wanted to when it only had been just a month or even less. 

But he couldn't possibly do that with out being caught as a traitor by the new council and police on Coruscant. But his old friend didn't seem to miss him to much. Some rules must have been re made since his last visit to Coruscant.

Feelings are not to be made or formed. That had been his anger in all his years as a Jedi. It had been what had forced him to do it all. But it had been her, his only one, who had turned it around.

He could never forget that day it haunted him like the ghost of his mother. It had been the two things he never could get into his mind why it all happened to him.

Watching the two figures walking hand in hand, not bothering to hid their emotions. It was a knife that had hit him, a knife of pain. That could have been he and Padmé to, but it wasn't. Thinking about her made him turn his head around to see her getting closer to him. With out making any sound at all, he walked away a few meters so she wouldn't see him. It had started.

His heart made a few flips as he saw her face turn around and her hair flew like a soft flowered wind, he could feel her soft hair curls even thought they weren't near him. But he missed her, so much.

She picked out flowers as she walked over the grass, a smaller copy of her walked behind her. Smiling and happy, but something in the air made him wonder if she really was.

She seemed tense when she walked, stressed by something. Like she was worried about her safety and others. He remembered her face, for a second there she let it through she showed her concerned about something he had no idea off what it could be.

A strong emotion came over him, he wanted to scream to her, ask what was wrong.

Nothing could describe his emotions for her.

* * *

Obi-Wan felt it instantly. Looking over at Sola, who walked beside him. It wasn't her emotions, she tried not to show them to much. But this was so intense, so strong, angry and loving he could understand where it came from. Looking over to his sister-in-law it wasn't from her either. She was most worried, felt sad as always these days. This was a new emotion, uncontrollable and it was like fire against all this calm around them. He tried to locate it, but it seemed to be everywhere. 

" What's wrong, honey? " Sola had her beautiful eyes locked with his.

" Oh, sorry! " He had a fake smile, he could feel that, on his lips " Nothing, nothing Sola. It's fine "

" Okey, now I know your lying now " She had stopped him and stared into his eyes " What is it Obi? "

" It's just a strange feeling in the force " He admitted, but not really show how bad it might be.

" But it's not concerning her right? " Sola looked worried over to her younger sister who walked with one of their cousins children, teaching. And what it looked like from this distance, didn't have any worries in the universe. But knowing Padmé, she would never show her worries or concern to anyone, not in public.

" No! " He lied to his fiancée. Knowing if something happened to Sola's sister, his head would be very lose in her eyes. He didn't lie to her usually so it felt odd. Not something he liked that much.

" Maybe we should get back "

* * *

That exact night, a soft knock is heard on Padmés window towards the garden. 

She wasn't in bed yet, luckily for her. Because that had been a warning. Two seconds later she heard someone loading a gun. Dewing down her desk, she merely comes into safety before the shooting starts.

She was panicking, alone and scared. She admitted she was terrified. Shouldn't been but she was, so many attempts on her life, she should been used to it by now. But never she would be used to feeling that nobody really wanted her alive. Only one single tear is crawling down her cheek.

Suddenly it stops, quiet for a second.

Then two fists trying to knock someone down. A fight out side her window, but she was to scared to look out side. Just looking around her room from her hiding spot, all she could do was to cry. Her bed was totally ruined and the opposite wall with pictures from her youth was destroyed by holes. Small sobs was all she could come up with from her throat.

Someone was knocked down, she heard a scream and the abrupt silence.

It was a oddly feeling crawling up her spine.

She had heard a very familiar sound. But it didn't stick in her mind, it was her past that was taken away from her. Seeing all her memories on the wall burn slowly as some of them are just destroyed as the faces of her family are just holes. It was a strike into her heart, someone killed her emotionally, even though her absolute favourite photo had already been destroyed. Could hear footsteps running down the corridor, and the second later.

Her mother stands in the door screaming as she can't see her daughter. Shortly after her father is in the door, looking first at the wall the directly at her. Padmé couldn't hear the voices above her, she is shocked by the sound before the sight in front of her as the memories of her happy time as a child is destroyed on the wall.

She is walked away with her mother.

And for the first time in many years, she is sleeping in the loving arms of her mother.

* * *

Obi-Wan searched the garden. No signs of where the dead man got there. But the worst part was, a Jedi seemed to be the killer. No one else had that kind of a weapon that sliced a human like that.

It had to be a lightsaber that killed the man.

Sola didn't want him out there, but as Padmé wasn't back to her normal state. She was to occupied to notice that he went out. His instincts acted for him and he could see Yoda as a halo image in the garden. Knowing that he was talking to the council as he said the first two words.

" There is a problem master Yoda " He started, and his master looked sad. That normal look he had as you started your conversation like that.

" What have you found young master? " Yoda's voice seemed old suddenly.

" Someone tried to take the life of Padmé Amidala last night "

" So we heard the news, Master Kenobi " The voice and halo of Master Windu came instead of Yoda's " Luckily for all you were there to stop the action " He could see them all with their proud faces that the Jedi had saved such a important person to the life of many. And here he would come to ruin their news they apparently got wrong.

" Master Windu, I'm sorry but you must have gotten the news wrong…"

" You didn't save Padmé? She is dead? " Master Windu asked shocked.

" Padmé is with her sister Sola, inside. But we have no idea who her saviour were " He said slowly " The most disturbing circumstances around Padmés murderer, is not a good story. I got the queen to change the fact around it " He admitted.

" What is it that is frighten you so much, Obi-Wan? " The young master Hanoi, a young Jedi just begun her time on the council " You seem to be afraid of our respond " And she was right, he was. Because it was his worst fear, but his only hope and what he was longing for.

" The cause of death for the man is… " He didn't know if he wanted to tell them, or just hid somewhere faraway

" It was a lightsaber "

There was a thick silence between the halo figure of Master Hanoi and himself. No words, but the quiet wind that played just in silence with his light cape.

" Disturbing news you bring, Obi-Wan! Yoda declared after a minute of silence " You sure of fact? "

" I was the one who found the body, who had the first look. I'm defiantly sure about the fact " Obi-Wan made a brief sigh and started to breath again.

" You know what that might mean Obi-Wan. We never found the body " Master Hanoi said with concern in her voice. A bit worried about his answer that would come " Is it safe for anyone to be on Naboo? Specially you and young Padmé Naberrie " Strange to say Young to Padmé, thinking about it Hanoi was three years younger then the brunette inside.

" I wouldn't be worried about Padmé. What I'm worried about is 'him' " He admitted no idea in lying to a whole council of Jedi's.

" We all know you were his master, but you can't hesitate. Knowing what he have done in the past " Master Windu's voice told him. He must be brought back to Coruscant, must be brought in front of the council. Obi-Wan knew that fact all to well.

Something in his heart became heavy by the words coming at him. A short good bye and he left the garden as fast as he could, didn't walk back in, but to the small river next to the house.

* * *

Waking up after a night of terror, it was the same as always. You wake up with your breath in your throat, trying to calm yourself down again. All just to keep yourself to the thought that you are really alive again, your not dead. They tried, but they filed and you won. You showed them that your the stronger one, and you are a survivor.

But still you feel extremely venerable and fragile, shaking like a leaf.

No one was in the room she woke up in, didn't connect in her brain at first. But then she realised she was in her parents bed. Felt safe waking up there, but she felt so tiered and wounded. On what she felt shaky legs she came up from the bed. She had the wall to hold her up as she walked the few meters from her safety in the bed to the door.

Then looking out in the hallway she didn't see anyone near. Finally her legs beard her weight, and she could walk on steady legs to her door. It wasn't closed, and inside she could see her mother stand beside the window. And her room was empty.

" What time is it? " The question woke her mother up, looking sad at her daughter.

" It's afternoon sweetie " She answered with a tiered voice. Padmé walked into the room, nothing was left. Totally empty and hallow.

" What have you done? " She had a small shock in her voice, and she was shocked.

" We couldn't have it like it was... " She walked towards her daughter and took her in a hug " I'm so sorry, sweetie. But we couldn't... "

" I know! I know mother "

* * *

Blood was dripping from his arm. But the pain was nothing, all the scars his body had. It was just a other one. And he gladly took it for her, all he did after all was for her. He wasn't about to just leave her like that. The only mistake was to leave that huge clue behind. The cold stones under his booths made the whole hallway echo after him. Knocking on the door, no answer. One more knock. 

" Yes? " A guard looked out the door, first searching the hallway then looking at him.

" I'm here to see the Queen of Naboo! " He answered with a no tone. Using the force to make him pass the guard without any more questions. Walking into the study the Queen had in the palace. Finding Kylantha in a book behind her desk, no body else but two more guards by the window behind her.

" You made an ass of yourself " The young queen said without looking at him, but continued to read the papers " First you go against me, then you protect her. I don't want her here " She stated very harsh, or as harsh as she could.

" Leave us! " He said in a strong voice to the three guards. Kylantha looked at him, with cold eyes.

" They stay! Tell me what's going on and what you are. Now! " She demanded like the spoiled child she was. She was used to get what she wanted, it was shown in her eyes. What he didn't like was her emotions towards him, he felt it every time she knew he was around. She started to pump a amount of blood around, only a woman in a certain emotional state would do. And he knew that very well.

" You know who I am " He answered back with a clam voice, after years of not being aloud to show who he was. He was used to shape his voice into someone else. The calm one. Nothing like the old him, the young and spiritual and the Jedi who was controlled by his feelings

" I am the man who saved you to many times that you can't count "

" But still you haven't given me any name to call you "

" You don't have to have a name to know who I am, or might have been or am at this point! " He said coldly, with a stern voice. " You shouldn't ask again, you understand? " The cold feeling was still there and all she could do was to nod.

" Then why are you here? " She tried to act without emotions, didn't work so good.

" Your gonna tell me what was in that letter " Kylantha looked at him in shock.

" I want you to leave! " She was furious.

" You are gonna answer my question "

* * *

**_Okee so a new year... yeah I no' its been a while, but there was a new chapter and all..._**

**_Keep on the reviewing plz... I really needed to countinue :p_**

**_Anyhow ... hoped u enjoyed it!_**

**_Love S_**


	15. Can't fight whats already dead to you

**She had heard a very familiar sound. But it didn't stick in her mind, it was her past that was taken away from her. Seeing all her memories on the wall burn slowly as some of them are just destroyed as the faces of her family are just holes. **

**It was a strike into her heart, someone killed her emotionally**

* * *

**_Padmé _**looked around the room seemed, smaller. Empty it felt like the walls were coming in on her. It was like the bed and the shelves made the room expanded. She was seated on the floor looking around looking at the empty walls. She wanted to get to her spaceship. It was annoying to get over the fact that someone tried to kill her own her home planet. 

She was lonely, Sola and Obi-wan was at the lake house alone today. Her mother had left her alone for the entire week. She had loved that at first, but now.

She wanted something to do.

Something to get her going and get her mind of things. Her memories were coming back for her, from behind. And all she wanted to do was to escape. The dress wasn't killing her anymore. All her mind was focused on was the sound that nobody would explain it to her. There had been a sound she recognise, it had been. She was sure of the sound. She knew it like it had been her heartbeat in her ear. It was annoying to have everybody tiptoeing around her. It had been like this before. That was why she chose to be Freedom.

To get just that Freedom.

But right now she was waiting for someone to open her cage. A golden cage with her inside, and the only one who really could open her cage. For her he who was the one was dead. She didn't care any more.

But it was so disturbing, years later and that ache was there. She had a funeral for him, didn't she? And yet she was in pain.

Were was her bottle?

Standing up she felt the cold floor, remembering that she actually was alive. But right now she wished she was dead. Wandering around the house, made her feel small again. A few happy memories slipped through the hard and aching ones. Like the ones with her and her sister running through the hallway looking, laughing, for their mother. Now she was slowly walking, dead, looking for something much stronger then lemonade. Finding her fathers shelves with the bottles. She felt like a teenager, but much less exiting. She just took the biggest one with the most liquor in it. Grabbed a glace and walked away.

Sure one of the maids saw her, but right now she just wanted to have that substance inside her system.

Just wanted to sober up later and forget it all.

Garden behind the tall flowers, she never remembered the name of, tall enough to hide her long enough to get drunk. The wet grass under her feet gave her shivers. The dress got wet from underneath and she didn't care. She was alive, or she thought so anyway. Seemed odd, for some reason it felt like the hired murderer, according to Obi-Wan, actually killed her, and she lost the battle of her own life. The first real defeat she had in her life, and it was painful. No tears, she had no one left. So she at least thought she didn't feel any one anyway. Didn't care about the glace that was right next to her in the grass. Why waist it for something that so easy just could rush down to her stomach. Same as always it tasted afoul, but the second one smoothed out her throat and by the fifth time she had the bottle at her mouth, she didn't taste the taste. If she cried or if it was the rain. She would never know.

* * *

**_He_** could dedicate his entire life around that look. 

Her angelic face.

And it made all the pain go away as he watched her take slow deep breaths and her eyes closed. He was to close he knew that, but it was getting dark and she hadn't moved since he had spotted her. He had remembered this to be her favourite hiding spot as a kid.

And after that attempt on her life.

* * *

**_Padmé_** felt strangely enough calm when she woke up. The soft sheets was touching her like small soft hands. The only thing was her head that kept spinning. Had a bad hangover that morning, slowly trying to get up in a sitting position. Silk, who had silk in their garden. 

Silk and pillows.

Her head could spin all it wanted but she knew silk when she had her hands on it. This was defiantly silk underneath her. No one in her family would have found her out there.

She knew that.

Where was she?

Her eyes searched the room, empty, just the bed. No room she knew. Even though she had a bad hangover, this wasn't a place she knew. White, white curtains, white silk, wooden floor. Soft wind coming from the outside down to her cheeks. Felt like a dream. Next thought came up, was she dead? Maybe she died in the garden, and this is the door to haven. The covers were fluffy and easy to remove, felt real. The floor wasn't cold, not yet warm either, but real. This couldn't be haven, but it looked like it. Something that had been her dream a long time ago. A sudden strange feeling made her look down, a braid came down her chest, her hair was in a braid, a white short night dress. This was not how she looked yesterday. She had worn her purple clothing yesterday. This was weird, but yet she was calm as ever. Something about the room made her feel safe. First time in many years she had that feeling, like in her mothers arms. She walked towards the window, but stopped dead in the tracks. On the floor she stared at the hologram lying there. Pictures were shifting slowly from one to a other. Pictures she hadn't seen in years, pictures she didn't even know existing. She feel to the floor next to it. Stared at the pictures, didn't touch it. Afraid that it might disappear if she did. One single tear made its way down her cheek. The memories overwhelmed her, took her by surprise. Surprise that the feelings were still there.

_**He **_watched, the tears didn't come. She, his angel, was sitting on the floor crying. But he could feel the emotions she had. It was a weird mixture of sadness and love, in a whirl of other smaller emotions in one body. Just bubbling like a boiling water bottle. The emotions within him made the decision, not his mind, the body he was in was moving forward. Her sentence came with a small wind to him, all those forgotten feelings boiling and trying to get out.

A quiet footstep came up behind her. But her tear kept rolling down her cheek.

" P? " A soft voice asked her from behind.

A voice she didn't think was possible to hear again.

She swallowed the big thing she had in her throat, trying to stand up. But her balance failed her. Falling back on her butt, something took her in a grasp. Something strong, something that she felt so intense. Like it wasn't meant to feel. It became cold and warm in the same time. Tense. The arms pushed her in the direction of her feet's on the ground. Standing on her own, still facing the window, wind blowing in her face. Had no idea if she should turn around or not. Simplest thing was just to stand there.

Not to move.

But when the very familiar hand was put on her shoulder, something melted inside.

Tears, small tears came down her eyes.

" P? You okey? " The voice asked softly. This was emotions that run through her as she found herself on a pair of soft lips. Very soft, welcomed, felt so very right in those arms that hold her in a tight hug. It felt like all these years were never really there. The warmth were just what she needed against her cold skin that hadn't been touched like that in years. No one had touched her, not as if the hands was fire. Her fingers played with sand brownie hair, soft locks that hadn't been washed in a while, just as always. Always?

Her lungs had air once more. Her head down as her feelings came back running up her spine and hitting her head, the feeling of shame. This was not the feelings in her body, they were alien, suppose to be.

" Ani? " Although she already knew the answer, the question had to be asked. The hands followed her spine down to her hip where they stayed. She felt like the hands were burning on her hips, he was always her fire.

" Padm… "

" It is you! " She said in a very tiny voice. A sentence she never thought she would say to that man ever again. But the tone of voice wasn't what she was accepting, it should have been stronger, angrier. But it was weak and pledging. As if she had missed him all that time and like he never hurted her. But something in his arms, without even look into his eyes, made her vulnerable again. Melted away all that anger she had built up from her training and fighting, nothing was left in her body to scream out once he hold her again.

" … and it's you. " His soft words replied. She didn't look at his face, but in her memory she could remember how he would look like at that moment. Hurt confused that she didn't see him in the eyes. But she didn't feel his younger fire, that one that made those fast decisions she knew he made.

It was something wrong with Anakin, she felt it so very very real.

" Your gone! " He words couldn't been more true.

Slowly she looked up, there were no Jedi clothing on the body, black lather was what she was feeling beneath her fingers. As her eyes traveled up towards his face. Looking in to his eyes again felt like, like, like they never were gone more then a second.

_Felt so real that she fainted._

**_His _**angel fainted into his arms. Yes, he was gone. Supposed dead in a battle. Supposed decided, dead and buried. He was a dead man walking, and she had not seen him coming back into her life.

It was a mistake, but he had felt her again.

She had kissed him, she had chosen to kiss him. That made his heart make a double twist around his brain and back to the chest. Watching her body fall back on the white pillows and her face, her beautiful face, just laying there. He had never thought he would feel that way again. Nothing in his world meant more to him then that moment. Nothing could even touch her. She was so way more worth his arm, more then his six senses. More then anything that he could come up with.

She was perfect in every way.

His hand fallowed her face structure, stroke her hair back from it. Let it fall back in thick brown curls. His angel was asleep. Just as a piping sound broke the silence, he had to move away from her. Just to the window, just so no one could see that she was there. He knew the sound very well, no one else had that tune.

" Yes, Master? " His voice remained cold and unbroken.

" Anakin, so pleased to finally find you. Where could I meet you in person? Our plans are changed, again " The cold and old voice told him in the form of an halo in his palm. The only thing Anakin wanted to do was to shut it down and go back to the bed and watch her. But without an answer, his master would come and find him.

" We can't and will not talk in person " Was the reply he gave, there were no way.

" Still shy Anakin? " The voice mocked him, laughing " There is no way you need to still be in hiding no more. You want to know why? " Anakin had for the first time, no idea what his master would say. He was always one step before his master, but not this time.

" Why? "

" Your mistress, she knows who you are. She did some research " The voice said still mocking him, knowing the younger man a bit to well.

" There is no way she could find out " He continued to argue, mostly within himself.

" Oh, but the young you haven't been careful enough lately, wonder why? "

" You keep on wondering old man. She doesn't know who I am, and if she would find out. What would she do with the info? "

" She could turn against you! "

" You know it didn't work for Palpatine, why are you even trying to convert me to your side this time? "

" You call me master " The voice added as a final line, before the halo disappeared. Leaving Anakin confused about the conversation. Why would the man make the effort to contact him, if only to mock him, it didn't add up. And he could search for him, easier then to talk to him. Something was very wrong with it, and right now it was jeopardizing Padmés safety. He had to move.

* * *

**_One_** eye open, one eye closed. Closing the open eye, back to darkness. Slowly opening both eyes. Wasn't like before, light blue was everywhere. It was smaller, smaller then what? 

Pushing herself up against pillows and pillows behind her back, she looked over the room. Light blue in different dept of blue, everywhere, a sofa and table. Two large windows on both sides of the room, a door to her right from the bed she was in. Was almost like the flat on Coruscant she had before he left her. Before everything. Nothing more then a green carpet. Nothing more, nothing less to forget. She felt uncomfortable in the very soft sheets, lonely.

Just as the feeling came over her with loneliness, a hand reached for her. Her head switched target from the table to a familiar face. Almost fainted again.

" Oh, no! Your not going to faint again P " Said his for now light voice. She stared at him in chock. What was he doing here, with her alone and without even shown a sign of life for years. He had a smile she loved on his lips, didn't help him at all, she was in to much chock to smile. Just kept on staring at him. Moving away when he took a seat on the bed

" Sorry! "

" Sorry...? " She was almost offended by his words. All he had to say to her, **sorry**?

" Yeah, sorry. I'm really sorry P! " He said with those eyes that could have moved mountains before, just a couple a years ago. Now, they just looked at her, and nothing happened to her.

" Yeah? Your sorry Ani? You can't be sorry now, your to late " She stated to him, watching the young Ani disappear from his face. And a older, tiered man take his place. It was obvious change, something that made her want to know him. Feel him again and know him all over. But it was to late, she had buried him, his last memory on Tatooine.

He was gone for her.

" I'm just a little late, but I'm here " He begged her in a calm voice " I'm here, must count for something? "

" Yeah, maybe that your late " Her voice said before her brain could react on anything " I left you on Tatooine weeks ago. I took your medallion off. I don't have anything left for you. I turned myself into Freedom because of you, I turned my back on democracy because of you. Because you were gone. All that for you. You can't be back! "

She fought mostly with her own brain, it was to much to ask of her. To take him back just because he begged her with his adorable eyes.

" I'm here " He kept on saying.

" You took my baby away, Ani! " That hurt just to say, to hear it was just plain torture. Must have been for him to as he looked away towards the window. Her own words echoed in her heart and head. That was her Achilles heal, her baby, no body knew of. But she knew about it, knew how it hurted to loose the heartbeat she had. It just stopped existing and she died a bit with it.

" Padmé, I have no words to say to you to make you take me back. But that man died when our baby died " He didn't look her in the eye when he spoke to her. She felt the anger come over her again, the anger she missed before, came with full force.

" Doesn't mean I wanted him back either! Ani, look at me! 2 She turned his head around to force him to look into her fires of eyes

" You took my baby, the baby I should have hold in my arms right now. I should have been a mother by now, you took it all. Because of what? Ani? You just took it! " She had no idea what to say more then that, but it was enough for him to look away again.

" I killed my baby. I don't even know why I'm alive "

She just stared at him, pushing away the urge to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okey " You just looked at me that time, and all I can do is to look back and wonder if you ever loved me. I have never hated someone as I hate myself. And, and, and all I want is to wake up and see you and the baby waiting for me when I wake up in your summer house here. But it's never gonna happen is it? " As he looked at her, something once more broke. Her heart this time. Just as that time. It broke into a thousand pieces, and no one tried to puzzle them together.

" You killed our child, Ani, **you.** You did that! " He closed his eyes and for a second it looked like he went through all the fires of hell. And then he just became calm and still, scaring her even more. She had no idea of what to do, or say.

" I know, and I'm sorry! "

" Why? "

" Why? How do you know if your… "

" No! No not that Ani, why where you even there? What happened to you that week? " This time he didn't even stay on the bed she was in. He almost run out of the bed away from her.

Then she knew it was right, all those stories she had heard from Obi-Wan that week after. He had turned to the dark side. He was the black rider.

" Black Rider? " Anakin just stopped and turned around and stared at her.

" That's what you call me? "

" **_They_** call you! If you are that man, thing, the _Black Rider_? "

" I'm not, but I was Darth Vader. But only for a day! " Padmé wanted to cry this was even worse.

" A day is just as bad as a life time, Ani "She said sad, without really understanding why she was " I just wanted that time, by the lake you and me alone and the lake house. That was all I wanted, I didn't want an universe to be queen of "

" I know that ... **now** " He answered back quietly and looked down on the floor.

" But now isn't then, I don't care about now "

" Yes, you do care. That is what make you special Padmé " He started and walked closer to the bed and came up to her, trying to catch her hand she pulled away " You **do** care, you always does. No matter what the person have done, you always try ... "

" That's what you think? " She screamed as she stood up from the bed, looking at him.

Not believing her ears.

" You think I will just take you back like that, after all the thing you out me through. First you take it all away from me. Then you take my old life away, and only to come back a few years later. Just so I can take back a different man. Is that what you think? " He looked so ashamed, if she wasn't so mad, she would have kissed him again and talk sweet to him like a kid. But not this time, she just looked at him and could decided what to do with him at all.

" No, no Padmé " Looking up into her eyes, he really looked like he meant the words he said

" I don't want you back for that. I want you in my life more then you are. I want you to know all those things I did in your name afterwards, all the things I tried to make right. I really tried to be a better man, all the things I did for you. Without your knowing. I want to give it to you, all of it! " He begged on his knees. But she didn't buy it. She couldn't.

" Don't. Your dead to me! "

Then she reached for the door, not caring what she might find. She just wanted away from him and his eyes. She couldn't stand it no more.

* * *

**Long time since last maybe... but here it was, got a lot to do in school so it might take awhil between the chapters, but it is close to the end now, **

**tyring to have a end before chapter 20 :D ****at least Im trying anyway**

**Love **

**S anyway**

**TBC --- **


	16. Never say you lernt enough

**" Sorry...? " She was almost offended by his words. All he had to say to her, _sorry?_**

**" Yeah? Your sorry Ani? You can't be sorry now, your to late " She stated to him, watching the young Ani disappear from his face. And a older, tiered man take his place. It was obvious change, something that made her want to know him. Feel him again and know him all over. But it was to late, she had buried him, his last memory on Tatooine.**

**" Don't. Your dead to me! "**

**Then she reached for the door, not caring what she might find. She just wanted away from him and his eyes. She couldn't stand it no more.**

* * *

She knew the palace as if it had been her dress pocket. Walking through the corridors the people that were awake this early looked at her with wide eyes. She was angry, she was. And she had to talk to the queen as soon as possible, hopefully before that. Smashing up the doors to the study, not carrying about the guards warnings that the queen was busy. Didn't care if she was or not. The security was a joke, was this the way she had had her life before, a wonder she hadn't died then. Walking up to the table where three men looked at her surprised about the screams and noise that came behind her, and the woman in her age looking at her annoyed.

" Former sena…"

" My queen! " She didn't really care about the titles but just a small thing because she had come storming in like this " I need to have a word with you, in private! " That wasn't a question, it was an order. Which Kylantha reacted on and send the men away, with an annoying voice. She would be hearing about this she knew but she had to have this talk.

" Padmé Naberrie, I hope you realise what kind of threat you are right now to my people if you think I will just let you away with this. This is unacceptable if you think you still have the smallest control power over this planet. You are the former ruler, not present " She said in a very controlled voice, a bit to controlled as if she had no reason for it in Padmés eyes, she could let some feelings through or the people wouldn't trust her at all.

" Why didn't you tell me he was alive? " She just asked calmly for a second. Making Kylantha take her seat back in the chair looking at her in shock, she wasn't in the same league as Padmé when it came to acting.

" Who? Who is alive? "

" Your little letter, your gonna tell me who you believe is alive? And how you know it " She demanded " And no security! You know it very well this is of the record " Before Kylantha had time to react, Padmés hand was protecting the bottom on the table. But she knew about the secret one in the chair, she was as Kylantha had said the former ruler here.

" I just wished you welcome home. Nothing more " She tried to get away.

" No you didn't, you warned me about someone dead being alive. Who is that person? And how did you know? And why is there a threat on my life in that case? " Kylantha seemed to understand there were no where to go from there. She made a deep sigh and made the hand wave that signalled the security to leave the room to let them be alone.

" This is of the record I can tell you this " She admitted, as if she didn't know that already " Because of your marriage with the Jedi knight " Padmé looked at her with a dark pair of eyes.

" What are you saying? "

" You where after all our former queens senator, you don't think I wouldn't know? " She looked like the annoying kid who thought she had everything under her finger.

" What has that got to do with anything? If to say what your saying is true "

" You were married to the right man to Palpatine. We, your home world what so ever, could not take the blame for his actions " Padmé looked at her with hard eyes. Where was this woman going with this.

" What actions? "

" He killed " Kylantha said as she opened a draw in the desk.

" You don't think I know what a Jedi do? Or that that man killed many hundred Jedi's. You think I have been in hiding on the smallest of planets? I do know " Padmé said with power in her voice. She wanted to know what was going.

" Mostly the action he took as he became the right handed man. We can't have a person that is that close to that man, not to ruin our reputation here " She said trying to sound like a peacemaker, but she failed. Not many people could handle the job where you had to act with your entire being for getting control. Padmé had it in herself, Kylantha didn't. She might be a good queen, but she would never be a senator. That was not jealousy that spoke, but the fact that she didn't have the skills to survive in the parliament. Padmé just started at her, was she really serious.

" Sounds like your hiding something. What are you not telling me? " Padmé had a hard time believe it was only reputation " Who is 'dead' ? "

" Well, he is not dead " Kylantha said with a calm voice as she just sat there in the chair " That is the problem. You late husband, he was not found dead as it is said in the records " Padmé didn't move, didn't show anything. Which was probably a surprise for the queen in front of her, she was thinking it would have come as a big horrible surprise " But it didn't come as one, stood there just waiting for the rest. It doesn't surprise you? "

" Suprise is one thing, but it doesn't concern me anymore " Padmé said straight forward, she wouldn't talk about her private life with a queen of Naboo. That was out of the question. But it seemed to make the queen more interested in her, not according to plan though.

" Really? Interesting, so what you do mean is that you had a divorce that quick after the wedding? " Kylantha was going to keep this up for as long as she could, that was clear. Unfortunally Padmé didn't like talking private with people outside her family " Well, since this is Darth Vader we are discussing Padmé Naberrie, I suggest that you do think about how your relationship with this man is " The way she said the word 'man' made Padmé feel uncomfortable. Though she could do nothing about it.

" So he is alive, and is after my life? " Padmé asked as if to summon what Kylantha was saying in between the lines. Finally, it looked like the blonde thought. But it seemed like one of them were wrong. And it wasn't Padmé, she had more facts about this person then the queen. For her what she had hoped to be just a bad dream this morning, had turned out to be valuable information.

" He might " Kylantha said as if she thought she finally had the upper hand in this conversation. The drawer had been open during the time she talked, and now she got the file up on her desk " This is what the senator of Krypton send us. He wasn't sure, but he send us just in case you would be allowed to live here again " She pushed the file over her desk with a finger towards her. She was tempted to pick it up and read, but that just had to wait.

" In case? "

" That would mean that Vader, would know where you are. I do have to think about this planets safety. And if he might be alive, who else could be alive to? " Kylantha made it clear. She had to get out of here, once she had loved this place but now it seemed to have passed her by both emotional and time. It wasn't her place any longer.

" I think you do believe people you shouldn't believe. And you put your eyes on the wrong target " Padmé said in a matter of fact way to her. As she straight her back a bit more and looked the queen in the eyes. She wasn't that much younger then her. But had little bit more to learn. You can never trust a file that is send to you, that's way you have a senator with a staff. To look it up for you after you read both sides. Queen lesson number eight. She lectured the woman, before she turned on her heal and walked to the door.

" We will keep you safe Padmé Naberrie, you don't have to run around " The voice said behind her. Which made Padmé annoyed, who did she think she was really?

" I think I got myself covered " Padmé answered as she turned her head around to face the lonely queen in her chair. The thought that crossed her mind was, did she looked like that those years ago? It looked so weird to see that view over somebody else in her chair. But it wasn't hers anymore, that was clear. Didn't make her cry, didn't make her sad, it was just a cold fact on the paper she sign years ago. She just walked away.

* * *

Anakin just laid there. Didn't want to move. He was dead, she didn't even know what he had done for her. In her name, all these years he made all his decisions like her. She just turned him away, didn't even got to show her all those times he had protected her. He felt, he felt lost. Forgotten. Misplaced. She told him he was dead. Was like a dagger in the heart. All the memories he wanted to share with her, was like a river behind his eyes. Just passed him by as a stream of emotions hit him from behind.

It was a lot to ask for in forgiveness. But he could never do anything if he didn't get it. Would never be able to be Anakin if they kept on denying him forgiveness for being naïve. He trusted a person, everyone did that. They believed in him. Trusted he was the thing he told them, but it was just he who got the blame. Was it his fault, that they all were naïve. He had believed that his so called master would give him a better world in the universe without pain and suffering. But he lied, he knew that now. Soldiers killed, they didn't get the blame. How came he got the blame? And with all he had done since then? Didn't that count? Nothing? He had saved ten time the many people that he had killed that day. They didn't know it, because he knew how to hide. He knew how to be somebody else. But he knew that if people who had known him was nearby, they would sense him.

Especially Obi-Wan would. That was why he tried to keep his distance. He tried, but he did miss his second master. But one of his best friends. If Padmé hadn't taken his heart like she had, the loss of his friend would have killed him. That had been the closest thing he had had for a father son relationship in his life. That was a painful memory he had, the feeling of loss that he had never seen. The life he could have had. Today when it seemed like he could have had his wife without hiding, what a perfect life he could have had. With Padmé and his, their, child.

He wanted to cry, but thus tears were long gone and it was just the shell that was left. The emotions he once had, they were not inside of his heart anymore. They seemed to be the reason for the hate against him. So why keep them?

* * *

** C yah in the next chapter?**


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